Why you will never find your passion

Every one is talking about PASSION nowadays. It’s the new buzzword.

It can be tiring, especially if your friends are discovering their passions left right and centre and you have still not tapped into yours.

It can leave you feeling left out of the loop.

Lost and unsure.

Like you KNOW you should be headed somewhere but you’re uncertain of where it is.

You even doubt that you have a passion.

Perhaps you use this line of thinking to justify your staying in a job that doesn´t fulfill you: “well somebody´s got to do it”.

Well friends, I come bearing good news.

You can’t find your passion.

WHATTT?!?!?! That’s not good news.

Yes it is.  Let me finish.

WHY YOU CAN´T FIND YOUR PASSION

You can’t find your passion because it’s not separate from you.

When you talk about finding it, the implication is that it’s somewhere external from you.   That you have to look for and then persuade it to come on board, like a recruiter looking to bring on a top new recruit to take their innovation company to the next level.

That’s not the way.

Because it’s not about FINDING your passion, but rather UNLOCKING it.

See the difference?  

FINDING is searching outside of yourself

Whereas UNLOCKING is accessing what is already inside.

“Passion is a feeling that follows action. It tends to be created or discovered, not predicted or planned. You don’t find your passion. It finds you as you get in the mix and try things.”

James clear

WHY PEOPLE MISS THEIR PASSION

Unfortunately, many people miss their passion for one of two reasons:

Just like the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, they either judge something as being too SMALL or they desire something too BIG.

One the one hand, we secretly daydream about being famous, or being renowned for some great work.  On the other hand, we fear that our small lives – such as they are – don’t amount to much.  They are both unhappy ways to live.

And the result?

We miss the perfectly-sized piece of passiony porridge that’s staring you straight in the eye.

An error many of us have made at one point or another is the attempt to be big.   The attempt to be bigger than we are.  There is a confusion about the right size of our purpose.

I can guarantee you it ALWAYS leads to stress and suffering.

I fell victim to this desire to be bigger than I am.

MY STORY

When I opened my studio Anahata, I bit off far more than I could chew.  The centre was LITERALLY too big – it was 370m2 and when we had the idea to open it, the project was too big for us to manage alone and with the little experience we had.  

So why did I do it?  

The desire for grandiosity.

This leads to golden cage syndrome.  From the outside it looks so beautiful but from the inside you are trapped.  Your wings have been cut.

As a result I felt a deep sense of falling off a cliff and never reaching the bottom – like a long freefall destined for death.

I felt completely overwhelmed meaning I was irritable and couldn´t be myself.  This is because the constant stress of everything I had to do was suffocating me.

I didn’t have time for friends and family because I was caught in the trap of trying to survive.  And it really WAS a trap, because everything I did took me further from myself.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I’m not saying that big ideas are bad.  What I’m saying is that the bigness must come through the smallness.

“Do what you love.  Know your own bone: gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.”  

Thoreau

Your task is to know your bone.  By knowing it, you see its true largeness.

I have learnt this the hard way.

And now I’ve found my bone, it turns out to be very tasty.

WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE

Now I:

—no longer need to try and prove myself

—don’t need external possessions (or a centre!) to know my worth

—can focus on my passions without having to manage everything else

And this frees up so much time and energy to tap into the limitless well of creativity that was always within me.

I just hadn’t found the key yet because it was lost under a quagmire of thinking-my-passion-had-to-be-bigger-than-it-wasness.

What many people don’t realise that they are already living very close to the purpose.

They just don’t know. It’s really within spitting range.

So why are they unable to connect with their passion?

-These people know very little about it

-They don’t name it

-They don’t own it

-They don’t live it intentionally

Their own passion is hiding in plain sight.  They just keep missing out.

Once you tap into this purpose there will be no stopping your INNER BONFIRE.

Because deep down you already feel your inner flame burning.  

Maybe you are just waiting for the fuel to be poured on.

Being connected with your passion means:

-You leap out of bed in the morning, eager to start your day

-You daily tasks NOURISH you, giving you more energy

-You love your weeks because you are creating from your core

-You feel guided by a higher power

-You feel satiated and fulfilled

-People comment on your vibrancy and energy

HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR PASSION

If you have not yet tapped into your purpose and/ or don´t even know where to start looking, then I have a framework that has helped me on my journey:

1. GET CURIOUS. Think back to what you used to love doing as a child. Was it dancing, was it painting, was it singing? Maybe it was something more service-based like playing nurses, looking after animals. Maybe it was straight up computer games.

2. Once you have identified it, CARVE OUT SOME TIME TODAY to get back in touch with it. Put on a song and dance, get your paints out (or take yourself to the art shop and indulge your inner artist) or grab your drum and allow your creativity to guide you.

3. ASK YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY what they consider your passion to be.  I’m not saying you should blindly listen to their opinion, but often those close to us see talents in us that we ourselves are unable to see.

4. Ask yourself, IF TIME AND MONEY WERE NO OBJECT, what would you be doing with your life?  Where would you be living, who would you be living with, and most importantly HOW would you be spending your days?

You don’t have to believe that these activities can help you in order to see the benefits. Just like doing a few postures in yoga expands your consciousness, so giving room for your inner creator to express also brings about shifts.

SUMMARY

To summarise, you cannot FIND your passion because it is not separate from you.  It’s been inside you all along and is deeply connected with that you LOVE doing.  

Perhaps there are things that deep down you love but you are not really sure yet because you have dismissed that activity as a waste of time.  Perhaps you have not given yourself permission to fully explore it.

We often miss our passion thinking it is too small or that it “should” be bigger than it is.  This is not true.  Your passion is exactly the right size for you and you will know when you find it because, like goldilocks, where she found her porridge it was JUST the right size.

Many people don’t recognise their passion even though it’s staring them straight in the eye.

There is a process I take my clients through to get in touch with this passion by trying, testing and tweaking.