Why I skip my morning routine
I have a morning routine because I know the consequences of not having one.
I have lived all types of experiences.
And I have learnt that having a morning routine sets me up for a happy, productive, peaceful day.
But it wasn´t always this way…
Former me
When I was 24, my morning routine was a bowl of cocoa pops and a cigarette.
Back then I was a different person.
I was in full on survival mode.
When I worked as a primary school teacher, I had zero morning routine.
I would be marking books and planning lessons until 2330 at night.
Then I’d be up at 0530, rushing around to get to school before the sun even rose.
It’s a paradox looking back.
I had no routine. But at the same time my life was very “routined”.
- I worked in the system.
- I gave different classes every hour
- I worked according to a schedule.
But even so…
I was living according a routine that wasn’t my own.
And this took a HUGE toll on my body.
This lack of my own own morning routine made me feel stressed before I even woke up. I was living in a continual sense of overwhelm – like life was much and I was just struggling to stay afloat. I would have a cigarette on the way to work to “calm” my anxiety. But it didn’t calm it – it just aggravated it.
I felt like a boat being tossed around in the choppy sea, without a compass to know where I was headed.
Without my own compass, I would just follow the direction of the other ships.
I was living for work. The fact that I was very good at my work and I got a lot of praise gave my life style an addictive quality.
It noramlised over working and living for others. It made me feel I was “doing well” because I was being admired and getting excellent feedback.
I was hooked.
I was stuck in the rat race.
And I was doing anything but well.
-I was completely disconnected from myself.
-I was sleeping 5 hours a night.
-I only had 1 friend to visit me in a whole year.
I remember other teachers coming in to my classroom to chat 10 minutes before I was about to start teaching. I wanted to scream “CAN´T YOU SEE I NEED TO PREPARE MY CLASS!?”
But I didn’t do that.
I was a people pleaser back then, after all!
Instead, I smiled sweetly and swallowed my stress and frustration. You can read about the effect that had on my Autoimmune Disease here.
To numb the stress, I had an alter ego. I was very into Lindy Hop. I would go dancing ever weekend, all over Europe. I would dance all night until around 4am and then get some sleep before dance classes started early the next morning.
I flew to different countries every weekend to attend Swing Dance Festivals. Once there was a party starting at 10pm on a Sunday night and finishing at 5am on Monday morning. I went straight to work on no sleep.
My colleagues commented that I was grey that day…
I thought I was connecting. But really I was running away.
And hurting myself in the process.
The result?
My poor body had no down time. EVER. Not even at the weekends.
I was living on a mixture of coffee and cigarettes and very little sleep.
I thought this was the good life.
Looking back, I can’t believe I even managed to STAY alive. It’s CRAZZZZZY that just accepted it as the norm.
I didn’t know there was another way.
And why would I?!
They don’t teach you that at school. You have to learn it by yourself. By jumping into the shit storm yourself and trying to survive.
Back then, I didn’t know that is was even possible to create a working day (and night) that revolved around me.
It was more important for me to get up, showered and out the door than to invest time and energy in my morning routine.
I just didn’t understand WHY it was important.
I was living very much in the system. My life revolved around how I could be a good cog in the machine, rather than planning my day in a way that revolved around my energy and goals.
It took a while to find the balance.
(And when I say a while…I mean around 10 years)…
Just like Goldilocks and the 3 bears, it took me a good few tries to find the sweet spot.
My Goldilocks Story
I went from having NO routine to have one that was far too long.
For the majority of my life I had NO routine.
Well, I guess my routine was rushing around trying to get ready for work, fueled by cocoa pops, coffee and cigarettes.
When I became spiritual I saw another paradigm which was about DOING less and BEING more.
I liked that idea at a mental level.
But I didn’t really know what it meant as a lived experience.
I guess that’s why I jumped to the other extreme of having an ULTRA LONG morning routine when I first discovered spirituality.
TOO BIG
When I first started learning about self-care practises, a whole new world had opened up to me. I wanted to implement everything I had learnt.
I WAS METICULOUS.
And I ended up with a routine that lasted 3 hours.
I was doing the yoga, the breathwork, the meditaiton, the Cacao…
But it was a lot.
Just like Goldilocks, trying out the porridge, I went too big too soon and I couldn’t finish it. In fact, I couldn’t finish anything because my morning routine was consuming so much of my day that I had LESS time to actually sit down at my desk and WORK.
That’s when I realised I needed to try a different way…
TOO SMALL
Around the same time my back was really hurting. I had a herniated disk which was causing me excruciating pain at night. It got so bad that I couldn’t even turn over in bed without wrinkling up my face in agony.
This, coupled with the opening of my studio Anahata, meant that I didn’t want to dedicate time to “non productive” activities when I felt I had so much to do.
So I cut it right back. I literally stopped everything – the yoga, the mediation, the breath-work. And I just kept my morning stretching to support my back.
Even though it helped me physically, I wasn’t preparing my mind or spirit for a peaceful, productive day.
Just like Goldilocks, I had tried something that was too small and wasn’t giving me enough nourishment to start my day.
Something still didn’t feel right….
JUST RIGHT
It was only when I started digging deep into PRODUCTIVITY and CREATING MY COACHING BUSINESS that I decided to stop navigating the waters without a compass.
Instead, I decided to consider what was IMPORTANT to me and how did I want to FEEL in order to achieve my GOALS.
All of this was interposed with a LOT of self-development, coaching and Tony Robbins events.
And that’s how I found the sweet spot.
I finally found the plate that was just the right size.
And it was about connecting with what felt good to ME.
Not what I’d read in some book.
And – just for illustration – it looks like this
- lemon water (to cleanse & alkanise ready for the day)
- stretch (for the body)
- morning pages (for the mind)
- prayer (for the spirit)
It takes around an hour.
I find that the perfect balance so that then I can get down to creating content (posts, newsletter) while my creative energy is highest in the day.
Not because it looks good on social media.
But because I know the consequences of NOT doing so.
Besides, if you dont have a morning routine, one will be assigned to you anyway. You just won´t be in the driving seat.
So when do I allow myself to skip my routine?
Ok, Ok. I know you were waiting for me to revert back to the title of this newsletter.
“Why do I sometimes skip my morning routine?”
Well, now my routine is established (after only taking 10 years to fine tune!). And it truly forms the backbone of my day and my working week.
I like to think of this as my Masculine Energy Side.
I love the masculine side of me that is productive, direct and GETS SHIT DONE. (If you missed my recent newsletter about finding my productivity again after my spiritual awakening you can read it here).
But, I am also a woman, and as such I honour and embody the chaotic, intuitive, flowing side of myself too.
That’s why sometimes, I allow myself to skip my morning routine.
After all, I am not a Sergeant Army Major.
(Although I do have that archetype within).
Sometimes I just want to wake up, say hi to the cats and go for a walk in the forest. (This usually happens at the weekend).
Other times I just want to get started on my work becaue I have a great piece of content waiting to be birthed through me.
I trust in the backbone of my routine and therefore I can allow myself NOT to do it.
But I have to be honest…
The days I don’t do my full routine, I often feel I am missing something.
The days I decide to skip my morning pages, I find my thoughts automatically drawn to writing them…
…Wanting to free up my mind and spirit by extracting them onto the page.
It’s a yearning.
A desire.
A need, even.
And I find this beautiful and I feel so much gratitude.
Because it means I have finally found a routine that nourishes my mind, body and soul.
By not having any obligation, the routine comes looking for me.
Like an old friend. A steady companion.
She has become bigger than me.
I have put in the years of work to find her. Now, when I need some space, it is she who seeks me out.
What is your experience of having/ not having a morning routine?
I would love to hear form you.
Wishing you a beautiful weekend.
Abbey xxx