What my holiday blues have taught me about my future

Have you ever struggled when returning to your “reality” after an incredible experience? Whether it be a holiday, retreat or ceremony – if you have felt anxious or depressed after returning to normal life, then this article is for you. 

That low you get after a wonderful experience is a horrible feeling and can knock you down for days.

Returning home you feel:

-a lack of motivation

-loss of pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy

-aches and pains in the body

-tiredness

-isolation

-low energy levels

The reality of returning to the weekly toil is tough.  Especially after experiencing such PEACE, CONNECTION and LOVE.

When you come back, everything seems to have to lost a bit of colour and sparkle.   You can’t stop thinking about the fun you had, the connections you made and how you wish you could do it all over again.

You were fine before you went away.

But this experience has moved some pieces around inside of you.

Not only are you feeling emotionally low, but now you also have the guilt to contend with.

On a logical level you know that you are so lucky to have your current lifetsyle.  You are well aware that other people have far less than you.  And perhaps when you share your feelings with others this is what they tell you too. 

This makes it difficult to validate yourself.

But on a deeper level you feel that something is missing.  And what is missing is EXACTLY what you just experienced.  You got a taste of something deeper.  Something more fulfilling.

And now it´s gone.

Is this just post-holiday anxiety or depression?  Or is it pointing to something deeper?

ITS TIME TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

I want to offer you a perspective shift.

What if these uncomfortable emotions are actually a signpost, helping you to gain clarity on what you want MORE OF?

What if their purpose is to show you what is not currently working for you so you get clear on what you want LESS OF?

Let’s call it a necessary stage in your recalibration.

“Depression gets a bad rep, but actually can be a signpost that something is missing, something is not working for you, and you know there is a better way to live”

– Nancy B Irwin

I know this to be true because I have lived this, time and time again.

The first time it happened to me I was 12 years old and returning from holiday in Marbella with my best friend. After a week of connection, warmth, fun, it was time to return to the cold, grey, wet climes of England.  This was certainly a shock for the system and I felt depressed for a week afterwards.

Looking back this was a clear signpost to me that I wanted more of that in my life.

A year later I started learning Spanish.  7 years later I moved to Spain.

The second time it happened I was 31 and I drank Ayahuasca for the first time. Receiving this transcendental experience was life changing.  It redirected the course of my whole life. I asked what my purpose was and saw myself sitting in circle surrounded by instruments I didn´t know how to play.  I wasn´t sure what that meant but I knew it was a different path from the one I was currently headed. 

The next day I had to go back to my office job.

You can imagine how long that lasted.

The third time it happened was last week. I spent 6 days in Mallorca with Kevin James and Susana learning how to facilitate Chanting Circles. The connection, unity and inspiration I felt healed something within me.

When I came back to Barcelona I felt very low for a good few days. And at first I just had to sit with it. But when I shared it with friends, I was able to gain the clarity needed to cut through the fog and understand much quicker what the message was.

And for me it´s clear: singing circles are my path and the fact that I am not yet living fully aligned with that lifestyle is calling me dis-ease.

But how can that be?

I love my coaching.

Yes. And that still holds true.

AND at the same time, I am being asked to step up and start taking my music seriously.

The ups and downs never end because life is a journey and the path has many different roads.  At times you are called to take a certain path and later you realise that path is no longer leading to your North Star.  Therefore you are called to change direction.  Or maybe you are currently straddling two paths and in the future you know that the path will whittle down to one.  If you don’t make a decision the universe will make it for you.  But only if you are open to reading the signs.

“Learning to leverage adversity can help people thrive. My depression and anxiety both helped me leave places and people not meant for me which helped me discover my true potential”

-Karia Karmali

SO WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

So now that you have a new perspective on this, what should you do?

Sell everything and move to Bali?

No my friends, no need for that.

There is no need to rush into anything or take drastic decisions.

I recommend that after a life changing experience you don’t take any big decisions for at least 4 weeks. 

This is because the seed has been planted inside of you and now it´s time to let the soil settle.

These 4 easy steps can help you gain clarity and gradually start moving the needle towards your more aligned future.

1) Don´t take any decision for 1 month.  Just OBSERVE.

2) If after a month you feel that you would like to move into more alignment with this goal, then openly make that COMMITTMENT to yourself.

3) Write or draw your vision out and leave it somewhere visible (I like to stick things behind my computer so they are always in my line of awareness).

4) Start TESTING things out.   If you want to learn to play the guitar, ask a friend if they can show you a few chords. If you want to start your own business, start intentionally consuming content around this area.  If you know it’s time to leave a relationship, start having honest conversations with yourself and the person involved. 

TO CONCLUDE

Piecing together the lessons from all of these experiences, I have learnt  to lean in to the post bliss blues.  They are a SIGNPOST pointing to where it is that deep down you really want to go.

I have also learnt to give thanks to this slump, recognising it’s a NUDGE from the universe showing you the path that wants to be trodden. 

I believe that everything is happening FOR you, not TO you.  However you may judge it at the time, ultimately it is a SIGNAL showing you the way back to yourself.

P.S: putting the structure in place and taking the aligned action necessary for you to find out the work you ACTUALLY want to do in life could be the next step on your path.  If you are committed to stepping towards your CALLING and living an ABUNDANT LIFE , book a clarity call and we can see how to get you there.