How moving to the countryside changed my life
If you are considering moving from the city to the countryside but are worried about making the change, this newsletter is for you. My ultimate desire in life is for peace . Peace inside and peace outside. The truth is that living in Barcelona has not been conducive to either of those things. You can read about my difficult start to Barcelona here Last week, after 10 years of living in the city, I finally moved away for good. THE EFFECT OF CITY LIVING I started getting ill the year I moved to Barcelona. Until recently I never considered the toll the stress of the city was having on me. -the traffic -the pollution -the radiation -the noise -the amount of people I moved to Barcelona in 2013 and for the first few years I LOVED IT. The thought of anything taking me away from Barcelona filled me with despair. It was like a playground, full of delights. There’s a reason people call Barcelona Neverland – because people never grow up. After being in the city for 2 years, I bought a flat. I loved having my own space to nest and having friends over. My favourite thing was to host Cava and Crumpet parties (where we would drink cava and eat crumpets!) I was comfortable, I had a job that paid the bills, and I loved the fun and excitement of being Barcelona. WHEN THINGS STARTED TO CHANGE But something happened after being there was around 5 years. I started to see another side of Barcelona. When I opened my balcony window to take in the morning air, I noticed it didn’t feel clean in my lungs. The streets smelt of urine and there were gangs of youths on the nearby street robbing tourists for bags, phones and jewellery. I didn’t feel SAFE, like I had to be constantly on high alert. I was overwhelmed. But I felt an obligation to stay. My work was in Barcelona. My friends were in Barcelona. My partner was in Barcelona. I wasn’t just about to upsticks and move away from everything I had. I began to feel uncomfortable in the city – like it was all too much. Too much concrete, too many people, too much noise. I also started to suffer from anxiety – like I had to keep going and going but my body couldn’t quite keep up. I pumped myself full of stimulants (coffee, macha, tea, maté, cacao, mambé…you name it) to keep myself going. It worked, but it was a FAKE, external energy inside of me. It didn’t come from being tapped into my natural spark – and just added to the anxiety. I couldn’t allow myself to rest because the environment didn’t allow for that. There was always something going on. Someone to meet. Somewhere to be. Barcelona had changed in my eyes from being an enchanted urban garden to a concrete nightmare. FEELING IT IN MY BODY I started to feel the weight and contraction of dense city life in my body. At first it was very sutble – so subtle that I didn´t necessarily recognise it or have the ability to put it into words. It was like a: heaviness dullness stuckness exhaustion It’s no coincidence that around the same time I was diagnosed with underactive thryoid and Hashimotos. How could I be healthy when the environment around me was not? When a flower is wilting we don’t blame the flower – we look at environmental factors: does it have enough water, enough light, enough oxygen? I was a wilting flower. I especially felt this bodily contraction coming back into the city after a weekend away. When I was in nature, I would feel so open, so expanded, so free. After that coming back into the city was like a straight jacket around my torso. It instantly made my body and mood contract. COVID During COVID things went from bad to worse. Not being allowed out of the house and having no green space to relax and unwind really took its toll. When the curfew ended and we were allowed out, one of the first things I did was head to the park. I don’t think I had ever appreciated green spaces or trees or grass before COVID, but now I had received a complete perspective shift. I NEEDED nature to be well. FAILED ATTEMPTS TO MOVE OUT Since then I had tried to move out of the city twice. Each time I failed. The first time was in 2020 and I was about to move to the country with my friends in Arenys de Munt. I paid for my room, I was ready to go. And then…I fell in love. For me back then “love” meant giving up my life, aspirations and dreams to fit in with the other person. I chose to stay in the city to be with my partner. The second time was in 2021, after our passionate love story came to an end. I found a beautiful house outside of Barcelona but my mortgage got rejected. Thank bloody god for that, I tell ya! I was about to open up my centre Anahata in Barcelona and doing both things would have killed me. The stress of running Anahata alone – the overwhelm, anxiety, burn out and huge amounts of money lost, made it clear to me what I did NOT want. I find it’s easy to live life and pretend you’re OK….until a situation comes and slaps you SO HARD AROUND THE FACE that you know there is no alternative. I believe the lessons have to be hard because otherwise we don’t pay attention. And boy was the Anahata lesson hard. THE SHIFT Since I let go of Anahata at the end of July this year, I had been looking for a place in the country with friends. I won’t lie. Looking for a new place is TOUGH. It’s time-consuming and you have to face multiple disappointments. I often arrived with such high expectations only to find the house is NOTHING like what it seems in the pictures. No natural light Weird energy Weird smell Slap bang next to a motorway. If you are in this position, I urge you not to give up. We spent 3 months looking for a house and eventually we found one that was beyond our wildest dreams. It was more expensive than we had imagined, but after seeing it we knew it was the one for us. I am a firm believer in allowing yourself something a little bit outside of your budget. That way things move around in your life to make it a reality. The bills needs paying and your focus, time and energy reorganise to reflect that. They say the most stressful things in life are: -divorce -death of a loved one -moving home The move didn’t disappoint. It was very stressful. THE MOVE -I had to pay twice for the removal van to come because all my stuff didn’t fit in the van. -My bed didn’t show up for the first week. -My cat was miawing the whole way because it was her first ever car journey (after 6 years of being in the flat). -When we arrived the house was dirty and hadn’t been cleaned as we had agreed with the owner so we couldn’t start to unpack our stuff. -It was cold, it was dark and I didn’t know which keys went with which doors. But even on that first night I went to sleep with a deep feeling of peace. I have noticed time and time again that something happens to my body when I am in nature. It decompresses. It relaxes. It expands. BENEFITS -In my first week of living up here in the mountains: -I am sleeping better than ever. -My heart rate is down from 67 to 57 at night (according to my Oura ring). -I wake up feeling refreshed and peaceful. -I feel decompressed and I am speaking slower, moving slower. -My appetite and energy levels are stableI go to bed earlier and wake up earlier -I am more focussed because there are no distractions (no bars, restaurants or shops nearby). -The feeling of contraction has been replaced by a feeling of expansion and spaciousness. -There are trees in every single direction I look. -I drive through the mountains and regularly burst out laughing because I can’t believe how lucky I am to live here. -Opportunities are being presented to me. I in the last 2 days 2 people have reached out to me to play harp at their event. And even more people are reaching out for coaching. One of my big worries was that I would have zero chance of meeting a romantic partner. But the opposite seems to be happening. Because I feel so at peace, I now have MORE time to date. I am more open to talk with men on dating apps and the type of men I am attracting are different from those living in Barcelona. They are more open. Since they also live in the country, I find they have a similar mindset to me. I was also worried that moving to the countryside would cut me off from my social life. Again, it’s counter intuitive. People are desperate to come and visit us. The time we spend together is of more quality because again, there are no distractions. I wanted peace and I’ve got it. But not the idea of peace that I understood at a mental level. I’m talking about a deep, nourishing peace that I feel in the core of my being. A peace that allows me to be more present with others. A peace that gives me more inspiration and creativity. In Barcelona I found myself popping out of the flat 3 or 4 times a day to the shop, to get a coffee, or whatever flavour the distraction took that day. But now because of the environment I have to plan ahead. I can’t just pop out to the shop unless I want a round trip of 30 minutes. The environment informs my behaviour. In Barcelona the noise, busyness and pollution is conducive to anxiety, stress and illness. In nature the fresh air, the trees and the space is conducive to focus, peace and health. 3 WAYS TO SUPPORT YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM IN THE CITY If you are in the city and are suffering from anxiety and overwhelm, here are 3 things you can do to support your nervous system to come back to peace: 1) Cut out the stimulants. Allow yourself this experiment for a few days, expecially if you are prone to anxiety. It doesn’t have to be forever, but allow yourself to feel your tiredness and ENJOY that feeling. Nurture yourself and allow yourself to rest. 2) Ground your feet in nature. Take your shoes off and walk for 10 minutes in the grass. If you live in the city you can do this in the local park. This helped me in times of stress and anxiety. Science is now starting to recognise the benefits (if you are unsure google it). 3) Try forest bathing. This is the practise of walking through a forest as you consicoulsy connect with what’s around you. It´s deeply restorative. If you live around Barcelona and want some recomendations, get in touch and I´d be happy to tell you where I go. Today I have been reflecting on the fact that because I grew up in nature, I needed to experience the hustle and bustle of the big city to know what I didn’t want. And by having that experience I have come back to my roots. But through my own choice. And that makes all the difference. If you are considering moving out of the city and are scared to take the move, then my friend Alejandro shared something with me that might be of help to you. He invited me to see moving away as an EXPERIMENT. It doesn’t have to be forever. In house contracts of one year you are free to leave after 6 months, so give yourself permission to experiment. If you don’t like, you move back. And you will have learnt valuable information about where you want to be along the way. I hope this article was of value to you. Have a great rest of your weekend. Love Abbey x |