The hardest thing about moving to a new country
Hi darlings,
If you have every moved countries…
Or if you are thinking about moving countries…
Or if you want to know what it’s LIKE to move countries…
then this week’s newsletter is for you!
As many of you know, I moved to Peru in August 2024.
For some people the change seemed very abrupt.
For others, they knew I had fallen in love with Peru the first time I stepped foot onto the Motherland back in 2012.
I had known for a long time that Peru was where I wanted to end up.
Despite that, the acclimatisation to actually living here has not always been easy.
Keep reading to find out why.
THE DREADED CURVE OF CHANGE
Having moved to Barcelona 11 years earlier, when I was 25, I thought moving countries again would be a piece of cake.
But as it turned out, the Curve of Change is a cruel mistress.
And I was no exception.
The first month was the typical honeymoon period.
Finally, I was in my favourite place in the whole wide world.
Living with my best friend whom I had fallen in love with.
I couldn´t get enough of the cute little mud houses.
I was completely obsessed with all the coloured textiles decorating the streets.
There were cute alpacas with hats on everywhere!
The sun rose every day at 05:30.
It really was a dream come true.
Until we moved into our first home together.
REALITY STRIKES
Nilton found us a cute little flat on the edge of the sleepy little town where he works as a primary school teacher.
When I saw the picture, I loved it instantly.
Lots of natural light.
Beautiful views of the surrounding mountains.
What was not to like?!
When we arrived, it was already dark.
The owner met us to let us in.
I entered, full of excitement to finally have our own place…
But to my disappointment…
The apartment was FILTHY.
There were urine stains in the toilets.
There was dust everywhere.
There were dirty sheets on the bed.
There were holes in the roof and BARE BULBS.
(who actually chooses to have a bare bulb in their home?!)
I was disappointed.
Knowing how Peru can be…we had specifically asked the landlady to ensure the flat was clean before we moved in.
“Yes of course” she has replied.
“Yes of course” actually meaning “No way Hoozay.”
I have noticed this is a thing in Peru.
People feel very uncomfortable saying no.
So they just say yes to everything.
Even when it’s a lie.
If you want to read more about this yes-means-no epidemic, check out my last article about the experience I had getting my peruvian driving.
My first thought seeing the dirty flat was “I can’t live here”.
I was caught between processing my own emotions and not wanting to offend the landlady.
Luckily for me, Nilton is a DOER.
(I don’t call him my Andean Alpaca for nothing!)
He organised us to go and get clean sheets and towels.
We couldn’t do anything about the filth and dust though.
The next morning was very uncomforatble.
Waking up in a new place, which doesn´t feel like home, and not being able to unpack anything yet because the place was filthy…
Despite the discomfort, deep down I knew everything was going to be OK.
I knew that short term discomfort was worth the long-term pleasure of living in a land that was once only a distant dream.
So I sucked it up (as best I could, permitting myself a fair amount of huffing and puffing throughout the day).
Over the next few weeks I started to get things in order.
This meant buying key things for the flat and finding a routine to support us as we established a new life together in Peru.
As the weeks turned into months, I started to feel at home in our flat.
I sourced cosy lighting, lovely warm carpets…and I was enjoying walking in the mountains every morning.
We even looked around other houses with a view to moving…but none of them lived up to the space and homeliness we felt in our little flat.
I have learnt that the curve of change is a real thing, and I am no exception from that rule.
Stage 1 – honeymoon period
Stage 2 – frustration and doubt
Stage 3 – acceptance
Stage 4 – clarity and belonging
NO ONE KNOWS YOU
One of the hardest things for me about moving to a new country has been starting from 0.
Expecially in terms of community.
Luckily for me, I already knew people here from my regular travels over the years to The Sacred Valley.
But I’m not going to lie.
It’s tough when not many people know who you are.
In Barcelona, I am part of a large community.
I am fortunate enough to be invited to play at many events.
My presence is actively DESIRED.
Suddenly, to be in a new place, where communities are already firmly established… does take some getting used to.
In Europe my voice is welcomed and celebrated.
In Peru, people walk out when I sing because it’s not “indigenous” enough.
And this is certainly …a streamline of operations.
And to be honest, a welcome one.
Because it shows me where I wanted to invest my time, love and energy.
As is the way of alignment, when one door closes, another door opens.
And when I got clear where I want to invest my energy, a whole new world opened up!
I was being invited to games nights with cool, fun people from all over the world!
I was welcomed to sing at other people’s kirtans.
And I made a really gorgeous English friend who I love dearly and we just fucking vibe together! She does really cool work supporting people to stop drinking. You can check her out here.
CONCLUSION
Moving to a new country is not easy.
And it’s not supposed to be.
Otherwise everyone would do it.
To build anything, you need to pass through the ups and downs, remembering your WHY and trusting in the calling of your heart.
I’ve learnt that living in alignment doesn´t always feel easy…but it definitely feels right!
I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter!
I am very happy to share that I am coming back to Europe for 2 months next week! I’ll be back from 2nd July – 4th September.2025
If you would like to join an event, ceremony or retreat while I’m back in Barcelona, then message me to find out what’s going on.
I hope to see you soon!
Love from Abbey xxx
