I’ve just spent the last 6 months in a completely different rhythm of life.

-Slower. 

-Quieter. 

-Wondering if I was mothering the “right” way

Most of my maternity leave I spent on the couch, breastfeeding my baby and staring out of the window across the beautiful Peruvian mountains.

It’s funny.

This is the life I dreamed of only 3 years ago.

-When I was running on empty

-When I was feeling burnt out.

-When I felt I had no more to give.

-When I lost my life savings in someone else’s dream.

You can read about that *here*

During that time I was praying for just two things:

1. peace 
2. and happiness.

And I was really able to step into both during my maternity leave.

I feel so grateful.

I’ve been reflecting on how it feels to return to a job I love.

I feel excited.

I feel inspired.

I feel motivated.

I feel the spark of divine energy moving through me, ready to create.

But it wasn’t always this way.

When I was a primary teacher working in Southampton (in the South of England) 14 years ago, I used to DREAD going back to work at the end of the holidays.

On a Sunday afternoon my gut would twist into knots or anxiety.

I would dread my alarm clock going off on Monday morning.

I would pray to get through the day.

And the craziest thing?!

I THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL!!!

Now that I am doing the thing that I am on this planet to do, I don’t feel any of that.

On Sunday afternoon I feel INSPIRED by the week ahead.

When the alarm goes off…wait, who am I kidding…my baby wakes me up now.   Well, what I want to say is that I feel EXCITED for the day to come.

And now when I sit down to set the day’s intentions, I wish there were MORE TIME in a day so I can create everything that I feel channeling down through me.

What a difference.

I feel so grateful.

But I’ve also noticed something I didn’t expect.

Clarity.

Not the kind that comes from overthinking or trying to “figure it all out” 

but the kind that happens when life strips things back for you.

When you are shown what’s really important.

Because here’s what’s felt really obvious:

We wait far too long to choose what we actually want.

We stay in soul destroying jobs that drain us.

We tell ourselves it’s not the right time.

We wait until we feel more certain, more ready, more sure.

But none of that is true.

That’s just our mind looking for excuses not to take action.

Because the truth is:

Life moves quickly.

Things change.

And the space we have to spend our time in ways that don’t feel right is actually much smaller than we think.

If something in your life has been feeling off lately…

If there’s a part of you that knows you want something different — even if you can’t fully explain it yet…

You can trust that.

You don’t need to have the whole plan.

You don’t need to feel 100% ready.

You just need to be willing to stop ignoring it.

If you would like to explore what something different might look like, let’s hop on a call.

It’s OK to be afraid.

It’s OK to doubt you can actually make a change.

What’s not OK is pretending everything’s OK when you heart is telling you there’s more out there for you.

What’s not OK is ignoring the breadcrumbs that your future self is sending you every single day.  It’s up to you whether or not you follow them.

During our call, I will help you figure out WHY things have been feeling off lately.

I will help you get CLARITY on your next steps.

(This is my area of expertise and it’s what I love to do).

If you like, I can explain what it might look like to work together.  (But I don’t have to do that).

You can book your slot HERE.

And if right now you’re like “nah, I’m good” – you’re not looking for a call but just vibing with my content, then that’s amazing.  Thanks for choosing to be on my mailing list.  If you’re feeling extra spicy, reply to this email telling me what you’d like to read more of – I love writing helpful content for the people who are present here.  I always respond individually to your lovely emails 🙂

It’s good to be back.

Love Abbey x

The post I’m back…but not how I expected! first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post I’m back…but not how I expected! appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

I was 25 when I decided to leave the UK and move to Barcelona to build a new life.

I was 27 when I decided to leave my six year teaching career to retrain as an HR specialist.

I was 31 when I decided to leave my career in HR to retrain as a Coach.

I was 33 when I released my first album (which you can listen to here).

I was 35 when I decided to move to Peru to take a chance on love.

Now I’m 37.  And I’ve just had my first baby.

(Which, by the way, makes me a geriatric mother according to the medical system).

But it’s not about age.

It’s the stories we TELL ourselves about our age.

My point is that whatever year you were born, it’s easy to think you’re too old (or too young for that matter).

But that’s just your mind keeping you small.

I remember my first boyfriend having a breakdown at 26 because he wanted to leave Air Traffic Control and he didn’t know what else he could do.

He was literally going crazy thinking that it was too late for him to start all over again.

I’m sure if he looked back now he would recognise that he was but a spring chicken and back then the world was his oyster.

But it’s difficult to see that at the time.

Because we’re do focussed on where we think we SHOULD be.

Which is ludicrous if you think about it.

Because when you look back at your life path, all the pieces of the puzzle slot into place.

You can’t be anywhere but right where you are.

It’s just that you can’t see that looking forwards.

Only in hindsight.

Imagine that you are your 80 year old self right now, looking backwards to your present age.

See that possibility and opportunity lies in store for you?!

You have so many adventures still to come.

But you need to give yourself permission.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR YOU?

Maybe right now you are in a career that sucks the soul out of you.

Maybe you are in a relationship that you know deep down isn’t for you.

Maybe you want to go travelling but don’t have anyone to go with.

Maybe you dream of moving to Spain but you don’t know any Spanish.

If not now, than when?!

You’re not getting any younger and time’s not getting any slower.

My mum left her job as a solicitor at 60 so that she could pursue her dream of writing a book!!!

So if you have been waiting for permission to do the thing that’s on your heart, CONSIDER THIS YOUR PERMISSION.

You’re not too old, and it’s not too late.

YOU’RE RIGHT ON TIME.

Love from Abbey xxx

The post You’re not too old. It’s not too late. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post You’re not too old. It’s not too late. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

But since I became a mum out here in the Sacred Valley of Peru, the word purpose has taken on a whole new significance.

As I write this, I am sitting on my sofa, typing with one finger, expressing milk with the other and rocking the baby with my foot.

TALK ABOUT MULTI TASKING!

As a first time mum, I have so many questions.

Like why on earth didn’t I invest in hands free breast pump?!

For many years I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mum. 

I didn’t particularly feel the call.

I wasn’t a fan of little kids and I loved my lifestyle of globetrotting, ceremonial work and singing.

The focus had always been on ME.

I wasn’t sure if I had the motivation or the capacity to bring up a baby!

GETTING PREGNANT

I’m not going to tell you HOW I got pregnant…(although it’s the same way any Thomasina, Ricarda or Henrietta did so).

When I fell pregnant, I couldn’t believe it.

Part of me felt that because my ovulation stick had NEVER shown I was ovulating, that I wouldn’t be able to conceive.

Nilton and I aimed to start trying for a baby in February.

And lo and behold, in February I got pregnant.

(That Ayahuasca seed be strongggg.)

I felt pretty rough the first trimester. 

But by the time T2 came around I was LOVING it.

I felt like the best version of myself.  

Food tasted better

Sex felt better

My creativity was at an all time high.

I understood why people said they loved being pregnant.

And I was surfing the wave.

THE CHANGE

I’m an achiever.

I don’t say that to be big headed.

What I mean is that according to the Gallup Strength Finder test, “achiever” is one of my top 5 strengths.

You can check your strengths out here: https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/254033/strengthsfinder.aspx

I LOVE getting stuff done.

I salivate for a task.

And I love ticking it off my to do list with great gusto.

This is why when T3 came around…it was a SHOCK.

Suddenly, I wasn’t able to DO as much.

I felt exhausted.

I was slowed down from my ravenous productivity with the need for a siesta after lunch.

And what’s more…

—People’s company exhausted me.

—I wasn’t able to focus on a conversation.

—I wanted to hide rather than make my funny videos on insta.

And this was hard for me.

Suddenly I was working at 30% capacity.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Of course, this all makes sense in the grand scheme of things.

When I got myself out of the way, I could see that it was SUPPOSED to be like this.

This was nature’s way of preparing me.

This was the body’s way of showing me what was to come.

THE INITIATION

My birth was super beautiful…albeit long (26 hours labouring!!)

I realised the thing I had feared my whole life turned out to be way more uneventful than I thought.

And left me feeling super empowered.

And on a high for days.

And in awe of women’s bodies

I could go on…

After the birth, all wrapped up with my baby Luna, I was happy to see that she slept really well the first night.

I was like “great, this is going to be easy”

But NO NO NO…

Little did I realise I was being lulled into a false sense of security.

Babies usually sleep well the first night because they are exhausted from the birth.

Reality didn’t hit home until the second night…when THE INITIATION began.

Up all night.

Zero sleep.

No idea what I was doing.

Is she even eating?!

Whole body aching.

Haemorrhoids in every hole.

Bleeding.

They call it the postpartum trenches for a reason.

There is nothing that can prepare you for it.

There is no one that can warn you about it.

You just have to EXPERIENCE it.

And it is f**king INTENSE.

I felt like I had suddenly joined the secret mum’s club.

No one tells you about what it’s like before you join…

…and for good reason…

BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO JOIN!!!

I had no idea how PAINFUL breastfeeding would be.

That my nipples would have to blister snd scab over (all the while continuing to feed her) before they would eventually harden up…after about 4 weeks.

Every time she would latch on my face would wince up in pain.

I honestly think the pain of first-time breastfeeding is worse than childbirth.

At least contractions are tolerable if you focus on your breath.

But the pain of my beloved minion latching her pirhana jaws onto my poor boobs was way too much.

(How do newborns have such a strong suck?!)

The first time I went to the bathroom it was like a murder scene.

Nor did I have any idea that I would bleed for five weeks after childbirth!  These are things you don’t learn about in biology class.

You tell another momma you’re pregnant.

“Oh wowww.  Congratulations.  It’s going to be so beautiful.”

LIES.

Yes, the baby shower was beautiful.

Yes, the pics of my beach photoshoot looked great on Instagram.

But the reality was that those photos showed a reality a world away from what I was currently experiencing.

Up at midnight with a screaming baby, wondering if she was even getting any sustenance, sending my partner out to find formula in the middle of the night because I thought I had no milk (I actually did, and in great supply…I just wasn’t trusting my body), staining the sheets every time I sat on my bed, suffering recurrent mastitis, hormones all over the place and doubting my own reality.

IS THIS IT!?

I remember once, at the start of my healing journey, sitting at my office desk, feeling underwhelmed by life and thinking “IS THIS IT!?”

Fast forward 8 years, and I suddenly found myself deep in the postpartum trenches asking myself the exact same question.  “IS THIS IT?”

Just this time, instead of underwhelm, it was the abject OVERWHELM of “IS THIS IT?!  

“IS THIS HOW MY LIFE IS GOING TO BE FROM NOW ON?!”

A part of me was thinking…what have I done?!

Now, I have only told you one side of the story.

Because, like with anything in life, things are not just black or white.

And nature has a way of making even the most difficult situations very bearable.

Which is why all of this is coupled with the HUGE AMOUNT OF LOVE I feel for my daughter.

The first few weeks I remember staring at her and crying from sheer love.  

Crying from the fierce desire I had to protect her. 

Feeling her innocence, and the innocence of all children everywhere.

Connecting with the anguish of the parents of the babies in Gaza who don’t have any food to give them.

Looking at her chubby little face and thinking “I just want to bite into you, you’re so cute!”

The conflicting feelings that come up are REAL.

GRIEF AND GRATITUDE.

Grief for the woman and life I have left behind

YET

Gratitude for the blessing that has just come into my life.

EXHAUSTION AND DRIVE

Exhaustion from the sleepless nights

YET

Drive and a deep limitless well of energy to look after this tiny little soul that depends on me to survive.

DESPAIR AND HOPE

Despair when I’ve tried everything and she’s sill screaming her lungs off for the 3rd hour straight

YET

Hope that I now have a companion for life

Not to mention the changing relationship with my partner

It used to be just me and him.

Now it’s me, my baby and him.

We both have an idea of how we want to parent.

Many parts can be aligned.  And many parts not.

And it’s not that either party is RIGHT.

They are simply differences of perspective, culture and belief systems to be navigated together.

In my case…

I’m from the North of England.

The bitingly cold winters have hardened our folk to the meteorological perils of the cold, dark North.

(Well, I don’t know if that counts for me anymore since I left the UK over 13 years ago in search of warmer climes).

But for a Peruvian, the cold is something to be defended from.

Don’t think about taking your baby outside without covering her face with a blanket. 

Whereas for a Northerner, the cold is an ally.  It’ll make you stronger.  It’s character building!

WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO.

There are many things I haven’t done since I gave birth.

I haven’t played my guitar for the last 2 months.

The reality is, breast feeding hurts and my nipples have been way too sore to be brushing up against the guitar right now.

But today I did pick up my guitar and sing her a song.

And that was beautiful.

Only last week did I go for my first solo walk with Luna in my baby carrier.

Being out again in the mountains of Lamay – the sleepy little town where I live – gave me a taste of the freedom I used to enjoy, and the freedom I will enjoy again eventually.

Life is slowly starting to get back to normal – a NEW normal – a normal for the woman I have become.

A normal recognising that the woman I was is no more.

That my life is irrevocably different now.

That I am now in service to Motherhood, and that means that currently I don’t get to do this things I want to do.

–Go to ceremony

–Lead a singing circle

–Go out for lunch whenever I choose.

Sometimes I don’t even get to wash my hair.

But my baby is only a baby for 1 year.

If I live to 100 that’s 1% of my  life.

It’s all consuming, and yet it’s fleeting.

And when I find myself wishing away this newborn period so we can do more things and get more sleep, I also cherish this moment so deeply, knowing that when I’m 80 years old this is the place I will be wishing myself back to.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter and I would love to hear your experience of motherhood!

Love from Abbey x

The post The truth about becoming a first time mum first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post The truth about becoming a first time mum appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

I had beautiful, yet intense trip to Europe this summer.

And I came back to Peru 10 days ago with my cat, Clive.

He is settling in really well and did so well on the 30 hours journey!

But that’s not my main news….

I don’t know if you know yet…but I’m pregnant!

30 weeks and 6 days to be precise.

Which is why my trip to Europe was so intense.

–a trip to England to see my family

–a two week trip around the top European capital cities…in the baking sun

–3 retreats back to back

–3 days in the studio

— getting all the paperwork to take my cat to Peru

–a final farewell trip to Romania

It would have been a lot for anyone.

But for someone 6 MONTHS PREGNANT?!

I am feeling grateful, anxious, happy, worried and everything in between!

A question I am regularly asked is – where will I be having the baby?

In Peru, of course!

I feel super lucky because a year and a half ago I never imagined this would be my reality today.

If you haven´t checked out my article about my love story with Nilton and why I moved to Peru last year…you can do so HERE.

Nilton and I wanted to give it 6 months after I moved to Peru before we started trying for a baby.

And there were some logical reasons for this:

1) We wanted to make sure we were compatible. Agreed, 6 months may not be very long to figure this out. But after having survived narcissistic abuse, I considered my healthy relationship radar to be pretty sharp.

2) I wanted Nilton to meet my family before we started trying for a baby. I didn’t fancy the idea of saying to my parents…”hey, you know I moved to the other side of the world pretty impulsively last year? Well now I’m up the duff with an older Peruvian man you’ve never met…”

3) Nilton was very aware that he was getting older. At 53, it’s not that he can’t have kids, but understandably he wanted to do this sooner rather than later.

It’s so magical that we are having a baby together now. When we met I’d told him I wanted to call my daughter Luna. He was like “me too”.

The fact that we are doing this TOGETHER now is nothing short of a miracle!

Especially because I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to get pregnant! My results never came back positive when I did a self-ovulation test at home.

Nor had I ever had any accidental pregnancies …which at the back of my mind led me to think maybe I wasn’t able to.

Yet…my human design is a Manifestor.

And my nature IS to call into being that which I desire.

So I won’t pretend that I didn’t get my inner witch on and use those manifesting powers.

What did this look like?

Calling in my daugher’s soul around the firelight with the Pachulkans under the light of the July full moon

Using the power of orgasm to call her into being (too much information? Sorry Mummy…)

Using the spoken word to DECREE that we wanted to have a baby

And now here we are, 6 months pregnant in the Sacred Valley, nesting down until we get to meet our daughter in November.

Me being me though…I couldn’t go out without a bang.

Even though I am looking forward to my 6 months maternity leave so I can be present with my daughter in the most important months of her life…

….I still love fulfilling my purpose….

…which is to support others to find theirs.

That’s why this Tuesday 16th September I am launching my first ever GROUP PROGRAMME for women to get clarity on their purpose and take action towards their dreams.

It’s a 7 week online journey with a powerful group of women from around the world.

If you fancy joining us, we have a few spots left.

This will be the last bit of Purpose work I do for the foreseeable future.

I have a feeling this journey into motherhood is going to have an influence on my own purpose going forward…

And if not, let’s stay connected here and on Instagram.

Because I have been busy in the studio this summer recording some more songs which I can’t wait to share with you.

Thanks for reading me and sending you all the love from The Sacred Valley.

Love from Abbey (and Clive my cat)

xxxx

ps – If you would like to listen to my music on Spotify, check out my most popular song EMBRACE YOUR SHADOW here

pps – if you would like more info on my group programming starting this Tuesday 16th September, click here

The post The pitter patter of tiny feet… first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post The pitter patter of tiny feet… appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

Most of them kept me distracted and out of pocket.

They didn’t really add to my growth, but allowed me to feel like I was moving forwards (albeit superficially).

I was investing just enough on digital programmes to pretend to myself I wanted change.

But not enough to keep myself from making any deep transformation.

Why?

Because deep down I was SCARED.

❌What if I failed?

❌What if I didn’t see results?

❌What if I “wasted” all that money?

My relationship with choosing what to invest in changed when I found my first coach.

I had been searching for a good 6 months.

A few people had offered but there was no one who made me feel that instinctive YES in my heart.

Eventually I came across the man I knew could help me.

He was into the same things as me – plant medicine, music and Peru…

Still, I was a little skeptical.

Why would coaching be any different from my pre-recorded online courses?

And the price did scare me a little.

But something deep down told me to TRUST.

Because:

➡️ this was EXACTLY the thing I had been looking for.

➡️ I would be supported by someone living the LIFESTYLE I WANTED

➡️ It was facilitated by someone who was spiritual, into ceremonies AND able to create financial abundance (…a rare thing!)

I knew this was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to miss.

And thank goddess I didn’t miss it.

MY RESULTS

Because after signing up, I earned back my investment after just 6 weeks by landing my first client.

In that moment, I saw the transformational power of Coaching.

I experienced for myself the power of having someone who has BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT supporting you.

I came face to face with the direct result of taking aligned action towards your dreams.

And as a result, my mindset on “buying” and “receiving support” radically shifted.

Before, I thought I was being sensible by not investing too much in my growth.

Now I understand that being “sensible” was just a protection mechanism.

“Sensible” was designed to keep me small.

“Sensible” was preventing me from making any real change.

In reality, investing in my growth was THE most sensible thing of all.

Because it brought about rapid fire results.

Could I have done it myself?

Yes, but it probably would have taken me 10 years.

Was there a benefit to working with somebody more experienced, who had already walked that path?

Totally. By absorbing everything they had learnt (mistakes and all), I was able to collapse that timeline into 3 months.

Suddenly, I was on a roll.

My motivation, fire and zest for life were back.

And I had accountability from someone who was CHEERING ME ON and SUPPORTING me all the way.

Instead of spending money on jewellery, designer handbags or expensive holidays, I committed to INVESTING IN MY GROWTH.

From the outside, nothing changed.

But on the inside, EVERYTHING had changed.

SO TELL ME…WHAT CHANGED?!

That’s how I went from losing my life savings in a project that didn’t work out (read about that here), with no other work lined up, to:

⭐️Moving to the countryside

⭐️Being surrounded by soul family.

⭐️Recording my first album

⭐️Calling in my partner

⭐️Creating a thriving Coaching business

⭐️My business growing enough to support me moving to Peru

⭐️Earning more working for myself than I ever did in Corporate.

⭐️Our retreats filling out by word of mouth alone

⭐️Healing my autoimmune disease

Am I saying my life is perfect?

❌No.

⚫️I still make mistakes.

⚫️There are days I wake up grumpy.

⚫️Sometimes I owe my friends an apology.

Am I saying that miracles have come into my life that have left me happier, healthier and wealthier than before?

✅Absolutely.

I started to see in real time how investing in self brought results.

And not just financial (although financial was also very clear win).

But emotional, mental, spiritual and physical too.

It all started with me saying YES to investing in myself and YES to receiving support.

It all started with me choosing TRUST over FEAR.

After all, trust and fear are both asking you to believe in something you can’t see.

So which are you going to choose?

If you have been longing for support, but you see yourself putting it off, worrying about WHAT IFs or self-sabotaging, then I get you, because I have also been there.

And my invitation to you would be to TRUST yourself by INVESTING in yourself.

On the other side of that decision, there are treasures waiting for you that you can’t even imagine right now.

MESSAGE FROM THE UNIVERSE

If you’ve been thinking about getting support from someone in particular but have been putting off reaching out, GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT PERSON!

In ten years time you will wish you had started NOW.

What have you got to lose?

If you are looking for support on your journey but don’t know where to get started, DM me the word “PURPOSE” and I’ll send you a free workshop.

Not only will you come away with clarity on what it is you want to do, but you’ll also have motivation and certainty on your next steps to take action on your dreams.

If I can do it, you can do it!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter and I hope to see you soon.

Love from Abbey

xxx

The post Why online courses kept me stuck…(and what I did instead) first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why online courses kept me stuck…(and what I did instead) appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

If you have every moved countries…

Or if you are thinking about moving countries…

Or if you want to know what it’s LIKE to move countries…

then this week’s newsletter is for you!

As many of you know, I moved to Peru in August 2024.

For some people the change seemed very abrupt.

For others, they knew I had fallen in love with Peru the first time I stepped foot onto the Motherland back in 2012.

I had known for a long time that Peru was where I wanted to end up.

Despite that, the acclimatisation to actually living here has not always been easy.

Keep reading to find out why.

THE DREADED CURVE OF CHANGE

Having moved to Barcelona 11 years earlier, when I was 25, I thought moving countries again would be a piece of cake.

But as it turned out, the Curve of Change is a cruel mistress.

And I was no exception.

The first month was the typical honeymoon period.

Finally, I was in my favourite place in the whole wide world.

Living with my best friend whom I had fallen in love with.

I couldn´t get enough of the cute little mud houses.

I was completely obsessed with all the coloured textiles decorating the streets.

There were cute alpacas with hats on everywhere!

The sun rose every day at 05:30.

It really was a dream come true.

Until we moved into our first home together.

REALITY STRIKES

Nilton found us a cute little flat on the edge of the sleepy little town where he works as a primary school teacher.

When I saw the picture, I loved it instantly.

Lots of natural light.

Beautiful views of the surrounding mountains.

What was not to like?!

When we arrived, it was already dark.

The owner met us to let us in.

I entered, full of excitement to finally have our own place…

But to my disappointment…

The apartment was FILTHY.

There were urine stains in the toilets.

There was dust everywhere.

There were dirty sheets on the bed.

There were holes in the roof and BARE BULBS.

(who actually chooses to have a bare bulb in their home?!)

I was disappointed.

Knowing how Peru can be…we had specifically asked the landlady to ensure the flat was clean before we moved in.

“Yes of course” she has replied.

“Yes of course” actually meaning “No way Hoozay.”

I have noticed this is a thing in Peru.

People feel very uncomfortable saying no.

So they just say yes to everything.

Even when it’s a lie.

If you want to read more about this yes-means-no epidemic, check out my last article about the experience I had getting my peruvian driving.

My first thought seeing the dirty flat was “I can’t live here”.

I was caught between processing my own emotions and not wanting to offend the landlady.

Luckily for me, Nilton is a DOER.

(I don’t call him my Andean Alpaca for nothing!)

He organised us to go and get clean sheets and towels.

We couldn’t do anything about the filth and dust though.

The next morning was very uncomforatble.

Waking up in a new place, which doesn´t feel like home, and not being able to unpack anything yet because the place was filthy…

Despite the discomfort, deep down I knew everything was going to be OK.

I knew that short term discomfort was worth the long-term pleasure of living in a land that was once only a distant dream.

So I sucked it up (as best I could, permitting myself a fair amount of huffing and puffing throughout the day).

Over the next few weeks I started to get things in order.

This meant buying key things for the flat and finding a routine to support us as we established a new life together in Peru.

As the weeks turned into months, I started to feel at home in our flat.

I sourced cosy lighting, lovely warm carpets…and I was enjoying walking in the mountains every morning.

We even looked around other houses with a view to moving…but none of them lived up to the space and homeliness we felt in our little flat.

I have learnt that the curve of change is a real thing, and I am no exception from that rule.

Stage 1 – honeymoon period

Stage 2 – frustration and doubt

Stage 3 – acceptance

Stage 4 – clarity and belonging

NO ONE KNOWS YOU

One of the hardest things for me about moving to a new country has been starting from 0.

Expecially in terms of community.

Luckily for me, I already knew people here from my regular travels over the years to The Sacred Valley.

But I’m not going to lie.

It’s tough when not many people know who you are.

In Barcelona, I am part of a large community.

I am fortunate enough to be invited to play at many events.

My presence is actively DESIRED.

Suddenly, to be in a new place, where communities are already firmly established… does take some getting used to.

In Europe my voice is welcomed and celebrated.

In Peru, people walk out when I sing because it’s not “indigenous” enough.

And this is certainly …a streamline of operations.

And to be honest, a welcome one.

Because it shows me where I wanted to invest my time, love and energy.

As is the way of alignment, when one door closes, another door opens.

And when I got clear where I want to invest my energy, a whole new world opened up!

I was being invited to games nights with cool, fun people from all over the world!

I was welcomed to sing at other people’s kirtans.

And I made a really gorgeous English friend who I love dearly and we just fucking vibe together! She does really cool work supporting people to stop drinking. You can check her out here.

CONCLUSION

Moving to a new country is not easy.

And it’s not supposed to be.

Otherwise everyone would do it.

To build anything, you need to pass through the ups and downs, remembering your WHY and trusting in the calling of your heart.

I’ve learnt that living in alignment doesn´t always feel easy…but it definitely feels right!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter!

I am very happy to share that I am coming back to Europe for 2 months next week! I’ll be back from 2nd July – 4th September.2025

If you would like to join an event, ceremony or retreat while I’m back in Barcelona, then message me to find out what’s going on.

I hope to see you soon!

Love from Abbey xxx

The post The hardest thing about moving to a new country first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post The hardest thing about moving to a new country appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

It’s been a while since I’ve shared a newsletter.

That’s why I thought I’d hop on to share a little about what’s been going on for me in the last 10 months since I moved to Peru.

If you haven’t heard why I chose to leave behind my happy life of 11 years in Barcelona, you can check out that article here.

And in the meantime, I’ve been very busy getting settled in this brand new country. This has involved getting my driving licence and residency, amongst other fun and frolicks.

I wanted to share some of these adventures with you.

So get comfortable, because for the next 4, minutes I’m going to explain the VERY REAL trials and tribulations of obtaining a driving license in Peru.

RULES OF THE ROAD

I am not new to the international driving license scene.

Having passed my test in the UK in 2006, I transferred to a Spanish driving license when I moved to Barcelona in 2013.

11 years later I was starting all over again in a new country.

But this time what I experienced BAFFLED ME.

When my partner Nilton took me to the driving school, I was given homework of learning 200 rules for the road.

Learning the rules was easy enough.

What was a shock was the fact that many of the rules actually made NO SENSE!

For example, this rule about using your full beams at night:

“at night-time, it is obligatory to use your full beams AT ALL TIMES, turning them down just before passing an oncoming car”

JUST BEFORE PASSING AN ONCOMING CAR?!?!? WHAT ABOUT THE LEADUP TO PASSING THE OTHER CAR WHERE YOU ARE BLINDING THEM AND THEY CAN´T SEE A THING?!?!

If we compare this to the same version of the rule in the UK…the stark contrast becomes apparent:

“You should only use full beam headlights on unlit stretches of road at night. When meeting oncoming traffic, or following another vehicle, you must turn off full beam headlights as they can often be dazzling and may cause accidents.”

The result? In Peru peple drive behind you at night with their full beams on max, completely blinding you from all your rear view mirrors.

Not only that, but many casually forget to turn down their full beams as they pass you. This means that for sensitive eyes like mine, for a few seconds your sight is obliterated and you have to shield your eyes with your hands.

I actually find it PHYSICALLY PAINFUL to drive at night time IN Peru because of the unnecessary amount of light on the road.

I have even considered wearing sunglasses to drive around at night…

Luckily, my ascendant is in Aries…and I have learnt that if I flash (many times repeatedly) the unwitting cars who choose to blind me, 80% get it and turn their main beams down…

…. but for the remaining 20% who choose not to obey, they get a nice dose of my main beams in return, delivered straight into their eyeballs.

There’s nothing like a bit of “eye for an eye” to give them a taste of their own medicine.

MWA HA HA.

Anyway, I digress.

Coming back to the driving test.

When I was speaking with the lady who would help me get my driving licence, something stuck out from the first moment.

I don’t know if it was a red flag or a green flag.

But it was a flag.

And I felt at the same time grateful and horrified that this was an option.

I considered myself a good little European girl who had always done things by the book (…well…that was until I discovered plant medicine in 2020, and then went full against the system, refusing to get the COVID vaccine and faking my own medical certificates)…

…but apart from that I had already done things “right”.

So when she suggested I pay a bribe of 100USD to GUARANTEE that I would pass my test, I shocked myself with my reaction.

“I’ll definitely be taking that option, thank you very much”.

Since I applied to take my test the month after I arrived, I still hadn’t received my Peruvian residency (a tale for a different moment!)

Assuming this might be an issue, we were very clear to double check that it WOULD be possible to get my driving license using my British Passport.

“Yesssssss, no problemmmmm”, the lady assured us confidently.

I have since learnt that the words “yes” and “no problem” actually mean “NO” and “HUGE PROBLEM” in Peru.

I handed over my money and went to do my psycho-somatic test.

This involved answering some multi-choice questions to determine how much alcohol I drank on a weekly basis and finishing the test in 45 minutes but not being allowed to leave until the designated 3 hours had passed.

Oh, and being come onto by the doctor.

But I passed! 🙂

After 3 hours I joyfully went back to the driving office, test papers in hand. We went to the ministery of traffic around the corner to hand in the documents.

When I gave my papers to the lady in the office, she looked at me quizically.

“Why are you handing me these? You can’t make this application with a foreign passport.”

There are no words.

To say that I felt a bit “put out” would have been an understatement.

Back to the driving office we went.

The lady was quick to tell us we couldn’t get our money back but she’d give us discount once I’d got my residency.

How kind.

Welcome to Peru!

This is one example of the many adventures I have had since moving to Peru.

Despite nothing working as I expect, I love living here.

Some things can be very frustrating and take a million hours longer than they would in Europe.

Yet I am happy here and have the certainty that this is where I want to be.

I’ve learnt that living in alignment doesn’t always feel easy…but it definitely feels right!

NEWS

Having said that, I am VERY exciting to be returning to Europe on 1st July for two whole months.

Nilton will be joining from the end of July.

I will see my family, catch up with friends, and we will also be hosting some ceremonies in Barcelona in August. If you fancy joining, we have some spots left from 5th – 8th August so get in touch.

I’ll also be hosting a SUPER MEGA HEART SINGING CIRCLE with my dear sister Imogen on 4th July in Shanti Vida. If you fancy joining get in touch!

I hope to see you all in person soon!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter.

Love from Abbey xxx

The post The trials and tribulations of driving in Peru first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post The trials and tribulations of driving in Peru appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

Although at the time it was hard, ultimately was the best thing that ever happened to me.

For those of you who know me, you will know about my centre, Anahata.

It started as a beautiful dream.

But since it was never MY dream, it was doomed to fail.

We went about it the wrong way round. Instead of having a steady client base first, we decided to create the centre and hope the clients would come.

They did, but not in the amounts we needed to break even or generate profit.

In April 2022, three months after we opened, we were already haemorraging money.

That was hard to sustain, seeing as through I was the sole investor.

I felt like all my energy was being sucked out of my solar plexus.

I felt like no one else understood.

And they didn’t, because it wasn’t their money.

I felt a huge pressure to make it work.

❌To make it work despite the fact I wasn’t enjoying it.

❌To make it work despite the fact that running a centre didn’t light me up.

This pressure made me stay 1.5 years longer than I should have done.

Underneath the pressure, there was fear.

Fear of giving up.

Fear of quitting.

What would people think of me?

What would I tell people?

How could I face losing all the investment?

What else would I do?

How could I tell my family I had failed?

And so I held it all together.

Although I wasn’t holding it all together at all, as I was displaying clear signs of burnt out.

❌I was severely exhausted.

❌I felt overwhelmed at the backlog of messages from friends, family and clients that I didn’t have time to respond to.

❌I wasn’t being the happy, friendly person I wanted to be with my clients.

❌I resented my friends who had free time and fun weekends

❌I came home emotionally drained, with no capacity to do anything other than sleep.

❌I had no time or space for my creativity.

❌I started to question what was the point of living.

Opening up the possibility

When friends suggested the possibility of closing Anahata, I was shocked and offended.

“How can they be saying this to me?! They don’t have my best interests at heart. They don’t care about my money.”

What I now understand is that it was ME that didn’t have my best interests at heart.

❗️I thought that staying in a job that was making me sick was more important than my happiness.

❗️I thought that money was more important than my wellbeing.

❗️I thought that staying in a situation that made me question the point of living was more important than my mental health.

It was my dad that eventually made me see sense.

I had felt that Anahata was an energy leak (both physically and financially) for a while.

But my ego and stubbornness not to “quit” or “be a failure” forced me to keep going.

When my dad eventually suggested I decide upon a date to put a line in the sand and call it quits, I was able to let go.

Having someone I loved reflect back to me what I was feeling but was unable to see was the permission I needed.

What I learnt

This season of my life taught me more than either of my business Masters ever had.

My Masters had taught me how to succeed.

But what they HADN’T taught me was how to fail.

And it was failure – the very thing I was running from – that turned out to be my biggest asset.

I learnt that failure was not my enemy but rather the catalyst for MONUMENTAL GROWTH.

Failure taught me everything I know – in particular, about my focus, objectives and values.

By failing, there was nothing left to run from.

There was nothing left to lose.

By failing, I found myself in the exact position I had been dreading, and realised it wasn’t actually that bad.

In fact, it was kind of pleasant.

It was pleasant because FINALLY I was able to let go of everything I had been resisting:

⭐pretending I was OK

⭐️trying to prove I was a success

⭐️putting finance over my health and wellbeing

⭐️not asking for help

⭐️holding on to something out of fear

That’s how I learnt that what hurt was not failure.

It was the FEAR of failure.

Failing taught me to let go of what I didn’t want.

And instead taught me the importance of going after what I DID want.

And what was that?

-Peace

-Fulfillment

-Connection

-Creativity

-Time and Space

-Friends and family

-Nature

-Happiness

When I got clear on my values, I started to understand why Anahata hadn’t worked out.

And that clarity enabled me to start investing time and focus into the things that DID give me energy.

✅I started growing my singing circles

✅I recorded my first album

✅I moved to the countryside

✅I invested in my first business Coaching container

I had got over the misguided desire to focus on money and simply focused on what lit me up.

And as is always the way when you are aligned with your heart’s purpose…

…I started to make money doing what I loved!

More money than I had made in Anahata.

More money than I had made in Corporate.

And I realised that I had to lose that 200,000 euros in Anahata doing something I wasn’t good at and something I didn’t love…

…to value the thing I DO love

…to choose my CALLING over CAPITAL

…to know what’s important to me and where I want to invest my energy

So what’s next?

Now I am freed from the fear of failure, I know I can’t go wrong.

I know that there is no failure.

Only lessons and growth.

And I also know that if something is right for you, it will give you energy, not take it away.

That’s why I now support women looking to transition from their soul-destroying 9-5 and find out what they actually want to do.

That has been my own journey.

And it’s my greatest joy to have turned my pain into power and to support other women to do the same.

I hope this week’s newsletter has inspired you.

If you are looking to find your purpose, but not sure where to get started, then I am holding an intimate online workshop this Thursday 1st May.

I will be sharing the signature process I teach my clients to help them find their purpose, as well as the blocks that can stop you from getting in touch with your purpose.

If you fancy joining, it’s only €7, and you can sign up using the link below.

Love from Abbey xxx

The post What losing 200,000€ taught me about purpose. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post What losing 200,000€ taught me about purpose. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

In fact, I have had a pattern of attracting narcissists into my life.

❌I’ve been duped out of thousands of euros

❌Called a doormat

❌Allowed my animals to be terrorised at the height of the gaslighting.

But this year I was finally able to meet the man of my dreams.

A man who respects me, cherishes and prioritises me.

I never dreamed I would have a story to tell like this.

But when you’re aligned with your heart´s calling, the universe has a magical way of responding.

Let’s start at the beginning…

It all started with a bout of PMS that inspired me to wonder into the forest…🌳🌳🌳

WHAT DID I DO?

Now I don’t know about you, but I have a history of having severe PMS.

The week before my period I feel

😤angry

😤frustrated

😤anxious

😤like I want to kill everyone

And that’s exactly how I felt in February this year.

During the height of my PMS symptoms, I felt pulled to wonder into the forest by my house in Sant Cebria, Barcelona.

I just wanted to experience peace and I knew the forest could help me with that.

I followed my inution.

Instead of walking straight down the forest path like I usually do, I turned left down a seemingly disused track.

This was the best decision I could have made.

I ended up discovering a beautiful green valley.

I stood there in awe.

The silence & stillness were palpable.

The valley was alive with trees and butterflies. I could see horses in the distance, grazing in their paddock.

I sat down.

I felt held my Mother Nature, like she understood.

And I started to cry.

I cried out all my frustration.

I cried out all my angst.

It felt so good.

When I was done crying, an incredible calm calm over me.

A peace like I hadn’t felt in a long time.

And having released all that frustration and angst, I realised that I actually didn’t want to kill everyone in my sight.

The clarity came.

I was feeling frustrated because I was ready to meet my partner and I hadn’t met him yet.

I was feeling angst because I wanted to have a baby and the clock was ticking.

Up until that point I hadn’t been sure, but the clarity that came through in the forest spoke loud and clear.

I skipped home a new person, enjoying my newfound clarity and peace.

And on the way home a song started coming through.

🎵…I asked for clarity

I asked for peace….🎵

By the time I got home, the song was finished – words, chords, rhythm and all.

It was so catchy – I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I was nervous to share it in my Singing Circle.

What if people didn’t like it?

But when I shared it in my Singing Circle, my friends loved it too!

When I shared it at my beloved Makawe retreat, the ladies asked me where they could hear it.

And so in June this year I raised the funds to record it with my producer Pakandé.

It came out Spotify last Friday. You can listen here.

But the CRAZIEST thing is not the song.

Or that transcendental moment in the forest.

It’s what happened next…

NILTON´S ARRIVAL

I remember a friend suggesting I was probably already friends with my future partner.

I went through my guy friends one by one.

“No!”

“No!”

“DEFINITELY no.”

But in March this year my friend Nilton arrived from Peru for ceremonies.

I had never considered that he might be the one.

In fact, when my friend Desi suggested it would be great if I was attracted to him, I literally shuddered at the thought.

He was my FRIEND. Nothing more.

Looking back, that’s probably why everyone else could see it before us.

I knew that I had a deep love for him.

And that I missed him when he was away.

And that I loved being in his company and he didn’t annoy me after 5 minutes like 99% of people.

But being romantically involved with him?!

It had never crossed my mind…

The 4 weeks we spent together in Spain were so wonderful.

I felt so looked after. So cherished.

And my feelings towards Nilton started to change…

❤️I started noticing how beautiful and long his eyelashes were

❤️I began to recognise how I loved the sound of his deep voice

❤️I really valued the way he looked after me and did stuff for me so I could be in my Feminine Energy.

And on the day he left back to Peru…I told him I had feelings.

I was too chicken to tell him to his face…so I waited until he was on the plane back to Peru.

And to cut a long story short…

…he felt exactly the same. And had done since the moment we met

And to cut an even LONGER story short… now we live together in Peru. You can read all about my move to Peru here.

THE END.

Just joking. As if I would just end it there.

I still have to share that simple trick that helped me manifest my partner don’t I!?

If I think through the process of everything that happened on the run up to falling for Nilton, it’s too magical to believe.

So I try not to think about it.

YES I believe in syncronicities.

YES believe in magic.

But I also like to keep my 2 feet firmly on the ground.

I am also not one for losing myself in stories about past lives or bla bla bla.

I just want to enjoy the present moment.

I want to enjoy this healthy love that I am experiencing.

I want to enjoy my own happiness and give myself permission to live.

And so that´s what I’m doing, one step at a time.

And the trick I used to manifest Nilton?

I didn’t even realise it was a trick.

I simple stated my desire out loud.

I started talking about my desire to meet my man and have a baby.

I shared it at the Makawe retreat infront of all the participants. Even though I went bright red because I felt embarrased and ashamed for the way I felt.

Instead of pretending I didn’t want it…(which was a defense mechanism covering for the fact i thought it was impossible)…

I started to:

💪🏽voice my yearning

💪🏽own my desire.

💪🏽give myself permission to have wants

And it worked.

So how can that work for you?

If you have a desire that deep down you long for…even if you secretly feel it´s a little bit impossible…then SHARE IT.

‼️SAY IT OUT LOUD‼️

‼️WRITE IT IN YOUR JOURNAL‼️

Because words are spells. That´s why they call it spelling.

I can’t wait to hear about your manifestations!!

I hope you enjoyed reading this week’s newsletter.

Love from Abbey ❤️

p.s. – you can check out my new song RELEASE which is out today!!! It’s word-by-word account of what happened to me in the forest…with some pretty flutes and a smokin-hot production.

The post I used this 1 simple trick to manifest my dream partner…. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post I used this 1 simple trick to manifest my dream partner…. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

When I had my spiritual awakening, I discovered my Femininity.

It was intoxicating.

I felt alive, empowered and liberated.

I sat in circle and drank cacao and got in touch with my emotions and EXPRESSED my emotions for the first time in my life.

I cried with other women who were into REAL connections – not jealousy, bitchiness or competition.

I recognised the unhealed part of me that had been hiding behind a masculine shield of “I CAN DO IT ALONE”….because I had felt alone.

🌟I learnt how to receive.

🌟I learnt how to interdepend on others.

🌟And I healed.

I actually wrote my latest song on Spotify during this time. Check it out HERE.

But there was a shadow side to this.

Learning this softer, gentler way of living, I started to REJECT my masculine energy…

I would say things like:

“OMG I used to be so in my masculine” like it was a bad thing.

I got confused. Instead of recognising that my masculine/feminine polarities were out of balance….I started to judge masculine energy as being being BAD.

As a result, I swayed far too much into my feminine. This looked like:

❌staying in bed past 9am

❌having no structure or routine to my day

❌prioritising coffee dates over building my business

❌rejecting objectives because “I wanted to be in flow”

❌showing up late to meetings

And as a result I felt:

⚫️LOST, like a piece of paper floating around in the wind.

⚫️UNCERTAIN because I wasn’t taking action to find out if the path ahead was the right one

⚫️GUILTY because I was wasting my time and talents

⚫️like not TRUSTING myself because I didn’t take action on my dreams

⚫️And I QUESTIONED if I had what it takes to make it work.

It was only when I started drumming, lifting weights and working with my coach that I was able to balance out these polarities.

But it didn’t happen overnight.

It took time and persistence.

Now, don´t get me wrong.

I´m not saying that my Feminine energy was a BAD thing.

Not at all.

My feminine energy is what helped me

🏆CREATE my first album

🏆REST and heal my body

🏆Connect with my INTUITION regarding the next step

What I AM saying is that having TOO much feminine energy, without the corresponding Masculine Energy was harming me.

❌I wrote my songs but – I lacked the structure or consistency to dedicate time to the recording studio

❌I rested my body, but in the process I forget to take consistent daily action

❌I connected with my intuition – and disregarded the logical side of my brain which helps me take decisions.

So how did I get back in touch with my masculine energy?

I surrounded myself with inspirational people who have their polarities well balanced.

How do I know?

I SEE them creating their businesses while at the same time being connected with their heart.

They have an energy of “CAN DO” and they take action on their dreams proactively and efficiently, while still enjoying a good ceremony.

and…dare I say it?

Yes, I´ll say it.

They are FINANCIALLY ABUNDANT.

Because they have systems structure in place that supports them to create stability.

Their feminine energy is not in control, meaning they shy away from a timetable beacuse they want to be “in flow”.

Nor is their masculine energy in charge, disconnecting them from their intuition because they only care about numbers.

They are BALANCED.

And wowzers! Do I know that being in balance feels AWESOME.

It allows you to:

✅get shit done

✅structure your day

✅create & plan

✅achieve your objectives

✅take daily action to build your business

Doing these things is great.

But the way doing these things FEELS is even greater.

🌟You feel PROUD of yourself because you’re taking daily action

🌟You TRUST yourself because you do what you say

🌟You feel EMPOWERED because you prove to yourself that you can

But let’s be honest.

The key is not to be more in one or the other.

It’s to find the balance.

So you can be:

➡️decisive without being hard

➡️punctual without being rigid

➡️self-disciplined while still being soft.

I hope you enjoyed this week´s shorter-form newsletter.

My mum is visiting me in Peru so I want to prioritise being with her.

And that’s the balance – right?

Writing the newsletter, but a little shorter that allows me to spend maximum time with my mum.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend.

Abbey ❤️

p.s. – check out the song below I told you about in my newsletter. I think you’ll enjoy it. I wrote it when I was in the full throes of my feminine awakening. The chorus is pretty catchy…

p.p.s.s. – If you are looking to bring structure and consistency to your life so that you can CREATE the thing you came here to create, DM me on Instagram here with the word CREATE.

The post Why your feminine energy is keeping your stuck. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why your feminine energy is keeping your stuck. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.