When I had my spiritual awakening, I discovered my Femininity.

It was intoxicating.

I felt alive, empowered and liberated.

I sat in circle and drank cacao and got in touch with my emotions and EXPRESSED my emotions for the first time in my life.

I cried with other women who were into REAL connections – not jealousy, bitchiness or competition.

I recognised the unhealed part of me that had been hiding behind a masculine shield of “I CAN DO IT ALONE”….because I had felt alone.

🌟I learnt how to receive.

🌟I learnt how to interdepend on others.

🌟And I healed.

I actually wrote my latest song on Spotify during this time. Check it out HERE.

But there was a shadow side to this.

Learning this softer, gentler way of living, I started to REJECT my masculine energy…

I would say things like:

“OMG I used to be so in my masculine” like it was a bad thing.

I got confused. Instead of recognising that my masculine/feminine polarities were out of balance….I started to judge masculine energy as being being BAD.

As a result, I swayed far too much into my feminine. This looked like:

❌staying in bed past 9am

❌having no structure or routine to my day

❌prioritising coffee dates over building my business

❌rejecting objectives because “I wanted to be in flow”

❌showing up late to meetings

And as a result I felt:

⚫️LOST, like a piece of paper floating around in the wind.

⚫️UNCERTAIN because I wasn’t taking action to find out if the path ahead was the right one

⚫️GUILTY because I was wasting my time and talents

⚫️like not TRUSTING myself because I didn’t take action on my dreams

⚫️And I QUESTIONED if I had what it takes to make it work.

It was only when I started drumming, lifting weights and working with my coach that I was able to balance out these polarities.

But it didn’t happen overnight.

It took time and persistence.

Now, don´t get me wrong.

I´m not saying that my Feminine energy was a BAD thing.

Not at all.

My feminine energy is what helped me

🏆CREATE my first album

🏆REST and heal my body

🏆Connect with my INTUITION regarding the next step

What I AM saying is that having TOO much feminine energy, without the corresponding Masculine Energy was harming me.

❌I wrote my songs but – I lacked the structure or consistency to dedicate time to the recording studio

❌I rested my body, but in the process I forget to take consistent daily action

❌I connected with my intuition – and disregarded the logical side of my brain which helps me take decisions.

So how did I get back in touch with my masculine energy?

I surrounded myself with inspirational people who have their polarities well balanced.

How do I know?

I SEE them creating their businesses while at the same time being connected with their heart.

They have an energy of “CAN DO” and they take action on their dreams proactively and efficiently, while still enjoying a good ceremony.

and…dare I say it?

Yes, I´ll say it.

They are FINANCIALLY ABUNDANT.

Because they have systems structure in place that supports them to create stability.

Their feminine energy is not in control, meaning they shy away from a timetable beacuse they want to be “in flow”.

Nor is their masculine energy in charge, disconnecting them from their intuition because they only care about numbers.

They are BALANCED.

And wowzers! Do I know that being in balance feels AWESOME.

It allows you to:

✅get shit done

✅structure your day

✅create & plan

✅achieve your objectives

✅take daily action to build your business

Doing these things is great.

But the way doing these things FEELS is even greater.

🌟You feel PROUD of yourself because you’re taking daily action

🌟You TRUST yourself because you do what you say

🌟You feel EMPOWERED because you prove to yourself that you can

But let’s be honest.

The key is not to be more in one or the other.

It’s to find the balance.

So you can be:

➡️decisive without being hard

➡️punctual without being rigid

➡️self-disciplined while still being soft.

I hope you enjoyed this week´s shorter-form newsletter.

My mum is visiting me in Peru so I want to prioritise being with her.

And that’s the balance – right?

Writing the newsletter, but a little shorter that allows me to spend maximum time with my mum.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend.

Abbey ❤️

p.s. – check out the song below I told you about in my newsletter. I think you’ll enjoy it. I wrote it when I was in the full throes of my feminine awakening. The chorus is pretty catchy…

p.p.s.s. – If you are looking to bring structure and consistency to your life so that you can CREATE the thing you came here to create, DM me on Instagram here with the word CREATE.

The post Why your feminine energy is keeping your stuck. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why your feminine energy is keeping your stuck. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

Why is being “aligned” so important, when being lost is an important part of the journey?

This is a valid question.

In this newsletter I will be answering this conundrum.

I will also be addressing where I see so many people going wrong, keeping them in a perpetual in a state of LOSTness.

And finally I will share specific coaching practices I use with my clients to move them into alignment.

WHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH BEING ALIGNED?

First of all, let me begin by addressing the art of being lost.

I am a fervent believer in the important of losing yourself in order to find yourself again.

People who have never got lost or never hit rock bottom are often the ones most out of touch with themselves. I see this a lot in Corporate – people who have worked their way up the ladder but never taken the time to stop and question if this is really want they want. They are often the ones who go out at the weekends to get drunk. They think they are being sociable, but they are just drowning out the voice inside of them telling them they are not happy.

Their stories are not as interesting to me as the stories of people who have been brought to their knees by life. The people who have questioned everything, and had to claw their way out one fingernail at a time.

After all, the greaest discoveries are often the by-product of getting well and truly lost.

Let’s take Christopher Colombus for example.

We’ll call him Chris for short.

Disclaimer: I don’t know him personally.

BUT…

I´m pretty sure when Chris “accidentally” got lost and discovered America, his though process would have sounded something like this:

❌”SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT”

❌”I’m a failure”

❌”I KNEW I wasn’t capable of leading this mission.”

❌”OMG Kind Ferdinand and Queen Isabella are going to HATE me and think I´m a LOSER!”

As we all know, Chris was supposed to be finding a shorter trading route to India.

Instead he discovered America.

If you are not yet convinced by the fertile twilight zone between being lost and found, let us turn to a different example.

VAN GOGH

In his lifetime he made 1200 paintings.

However, only 17 become famous.

Wait a sec while I pull out my calculator…

That’s a success rate of ONLY 1.4%.

But nobody thinks about the “failures”. Nobody considers the paintings that “didn’t sell”. The fact that he spent most of his life depressed, living on coffee, cigarettes and white bread…

No wonder he cut his bloody ear off!

When Van Gogh died, he was 37 years old. And he has only sold 1 painting.

He died considered himself to be a failure.

Nobody knew that his being lost enabled him to create some of the most important art of the 19th century.

I konw what you’re thinking…

If getting lost is so important, why is this newsletter called “from lost to aligned”?

Well, here’s the thing:

Being lost is all well and good.

But you don’t want to stay there too long.

Otherwise you may well end up like Van Gogh…

WHAT I SEE SO MAY PEOPLE DOING WRONG.

Depending on your personality-type, getting lost can get you trapped in one of two possible scenarios:

1) GETTING STUCK IN NON-ACTION

I see many peple so terrified to make a mistake and choose the “wrong” path, that they don’t do anything.

The truth is, it doesn’t really matter WHAT you do.

Just do SOMETHING.

Because if it doesn´t work out, it´s going to lead you closer to what you really want.

If you look at it from this perspective…you really can’t go wrong!

But because it is “scary” to go wrong, many people don´t even give themelves the chance to go.

The result is that they get stuck in non-action.

Non-action looks like:

❌having ideas but not following through on any of them

❌getting distracted by food/exercise/pleasure over sitting down and getting on with the task at hand

❌escaping through travel & plant medicine to keep you stuck in the illusion of moving forwards.

So many people think that making a mistake means failure.

But the truth is failure is when you don’t make any mistakes.

Read that again.

FAILURE IS WHEN YOU DON´T MAKE ANY MISTAKES.

🌟How else can you learn?

🌟How else can you grow?

🌟How else can you find a redirection for your life?

Then there´s the other side of the coin…

2) GETTING STUCK IN OVER-ACTION

I had a call with a potential client a few months ago.

She was completely lost.

And she was doing EVERYTHING to try and claw her way out.

She was exhausted and burnt out.

But she didn’t want to accept it.

She thought that the next training would finally bring her success.

She believed that by teaching a few more classes per week she would finally earn the respect she desired.

She was hating life. But because she didn´t believe there was an alternative, she kept forcing herself onwards. She was like the racehorse AND the jockey rolled into one, thinking that whipping herself into action would make her win the race.

But she was running the wrong race.

What she needed to do was PAUSE and ask herself HOW SHE WANTED TO FEEL.

And from there gain the CLARITY she needed to create a life that made her really happy.

But she didn’t allow herself to PAUSE because her ego wouldn’t let her off the hamster wheel.

FINDING ALIGNMENT

Being lost is often fertile ground to allow you to find all the pieces of the puzzle.

It´s OK to take your time in the process.

Rushing it could mean that you put the puzzle back in the wrong order. Or with pieces missing.

But you also have to recognise when it’s time to start moving into alignment.

We all have gifts to share with the world.

Time isn’t getting any slower.

And you’re not getting any younger.

As we start navigating our own path, we realise that we have indeed scattered pieces of our puzzle in different corners of the Earth.

This can be due to other people´s expectations, society telling you what you should want, toxic relationships…

It’s important to bring all these pieces back to you. That way, you can lay strong foundations in order to build the future you truly deserve and desire.

And that’s exactly the process I take my clients through when we work together.

We find CLARITY on who they are and what they wan. Then we create create a PLAN in order to take the daily steps to move them into ALIGNMENT.

But how do you know if this is really your purpose or just something that interests you right now?

DIFFERENTIATING PASSIONS FROM PURPOSE

There is a sure fire way to tell your passions from your purpose.

Your passions can me multiple and they can change throughout the course of your life.

Your purpose tends to stay the same.

Whereas you can continue discovering new passions throughout your life, your PURPOSE is usually the underlying force holding these passions together.

Your PURPOSE is often born out of your greatest pain.

For example, as a child I felt I didn’t have a voice.

It’s no coincidence that when I grew up I developed underactive thryoid. I also developed Hashimotos autoimmune disease (where the body attacks the thyroid gland).

Now I Coach people to find their creativity & get in touch with their purpose.

I hold Singing Circles so people can connect with their authentic voice.

And I am a Ceremonial musician, working with medicine to empower people to come back to themselves.

You can see that I have 3 passions: Coaching, Music & Medicine.

But these are just the tools I use to carry out my purpose.

My PURPOSE is over-arching theme weaving them together, born of the pain I felt as a child of not having access to my own self-expression.

My purpose is supporting people to be fully self-expressed in this life.

You see how it works?

If you have a tendency to start one passion and then run out of steam, then you haven´t found your purpose yet.

SO KEEP GOING!

When you tap into your purpose you will know.

It feels like:

🌟electricity

🌟you are tapped into something greater than yourself

🌟time just flies by when you do this thing

🌟you can’t wait to get out of bed to keep working on it

🌟you have been CHOSEN to carry out this mission

Remember – it’s only through the process of experimenting that some options are ruled out. That way, you are always getting closer to what it actually is you want to do.

To finish, I’m going to share some of the steps I take my clients through so YOU can start moving YOURSELF from LOST to ALIGNED.

SELF-COACHING STEPS TO FIND ALIGNMENT

1) THE WORK by Byron Katie.

Whenever you have a situation or recurrent thought that is causing you stress, there is a series of questions you can take yourself through to reach peace of heart.

You can access these questions using Byron Katie’s app (available on both the Apple and google stores). It costs €1.

Get the app here

If you don´t want to invest, hit REPLY to this email and write THE WORK and I´ll be happy to send you the questions over.

The app is great because it’s easily accesible any time you have a real-life situation that is causing you stress.

2) ENERGY LISTS

Energy is the new currency.

There are things you are doing right now in your life that are draining you of energy. Maybe it involves people, habits and/or places.

There are also things that are filling you with energy.

Make 2 lists – one of all the things that drain you of energy. And the other all the things that fill you with energy.

The first step is to become aware.

The second step is to start crossing things off the list of things that drain you of energy. This means that slowly, you start saying goodbye to habits, people and places that are harming you.

If you are meticulous with this practice, you will soon start to see your energy rising and things that used to frustrate you falling away.

3) INTENTION

Alignment is a daily practice.

Here is a practise that takes less than a minute that works EVERY TIME.

After you wake up, light a candle and set your intention for the day.

Your intention can be how you want to feel (“peaceful,”, “joyful”, “spacious”). Or it can be a particular intention for a specific outcome at work or a conversation that needs to be had.

The act of lighting a candle brings presence and sacredness to the intention.

You’ll be amazed at what you achieve when you make this a regular practice!

I do it every day and encourage my clients to do the same.

I hope that this week’s newsletter brought you clarity and inspiration to move from LOST to ALIGNED.

Thanks for reading me.

Until next week!

Love from Abbey xxx

p.s. If you would like some one-on-one support, I have a couple of spaces open for new clients. Get in touch and let’s see if we are a good fit to work together.

The post Moving from lost to aligned in 3 steps first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Moving from lost to aligned in 3 steps appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

New Age Spirituality will have us believe this is the “new way of working”.

That it’s “the new paradigm”.

I disagree.

Here’s why.

MY STORY

When I first became spiritual I completely rejected my masculine energy.

I would say “I used to be so in my Masculine” like it was a bad thing.

I started to judge all the “masculine” traits that made me a high-achiever, such as:

🌟EFFICIENCY. (I enjoyed through my task list like a doberman on cacao)

🌟CLARITY OF COMMUNICATION ( I always preferred getting straight to the point rather than beating around the bush).

🌟MOTIVATION (5am wakeups to study Chinese for an hour before work).

But all that changed when I became “spiritual”.

I started to believe that these traits were BAD.

After my awakening back in 2020, I was reading a lot of New Age spiritual literature. It talking about the old paradigm of working hard.

I believed that what I needed to do to CURE myself from this was to sit on a cushion and meditate.

I started to subscribe to the belief that in order to be spiritual I needed to “do less” and “be more”.

But this had consequences.

Because I was going against my natural tendencies.

I was trying to be a version of myself that I naturally was not.

✅I wanted to be in flow.

❌But the result was that I had no direction.

✅I wanted to honour my body.

❌But the result was I slept in and didn’t get anything done.

✅I wanted to manifest stuff into my life.

❌But I wasn’t putting in the ground work here in the material world.

On top of that I started spouting spiritual jargon like “time doesn´t exist”.

The result?

I couldn’t follow a schedule. I wasn’t able to maximise my day.

CONSEQUENCES

I started to feel blocked. I wanted to move forwards with my life and create and achieve…but I just couldn’t.

I didn’t have a goal.

Without a goal I had no objectives.

So I found myself floundering around.

This left my self-esteem near my knees.

I felt purposeless. Like a paper boat being blown around on stormy seas. I had no idea of where my True North was.

This left me comparing myself to others who seemed to have such clarity and direction in their lives. I USED TO HAVE THIS. WHERE HAD IT GONE?!

IF ONLY I´D KONWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW!!

If only I´d know that I was experiencing symptoms of my energy poles being out of balance.

But since I didn’t know this…I blamed MYSELF..

I thought there was something wrong with me and started to spiral into self-blame.

I thought I didn’t have what it takes.

I didn’t realise that the very thing I was running away from was the thing that would being me back into alignment.

My Masculine Energy.

SO WHAT ABOUT THE FEMININE?

Now don’t get me wrong. I love my feminine qualities too.

✨creativity

✨intuition

✨empathy

✨nurturing

It’s just that being TOO in my feminine had consequences.

I NEEDED TO BRING THE BALANCE BACK

I brought balance back into my life through a project that ultimately failed.

But it didn´t fail for the reason you’d think.

Let me explain.

At the end of 2020 I started a project called Anahata with my ex partner.

I invested a significant amount of my own money into the venture.

I rented a local with very high rent.

We decided on an opening date for January 2022.

What more motivation did I need?!

If you’ve ever had money tied up in a project, you´ll know that it gives you a humungous spark of determination to see that thing succeed.

You will go to any length not to lose your money.

And even if I hadn’t had so much money tied up in the project…the mere act of having an opening date and inviting hundreds of people along had the same effect.

I wanted it to work.

My name was on the line.

Since my money AND name was tied up in this venture, I had double reasons to make it work.

Suddenly I had found my purpose and motivation.

✨I would wake up at 6am

✨I would work all day

✨I would go to bed at midnight

Anahata was my baby and I wanted it to survive.

I was the mother and Anahata was my newborn. I gave that project everything it needed, even at my own expense, to see it grow and thrive.

No longer could I go to different retreats and workshops at the weekends.

I had to be home, working and creating.

This was very grounding for my often flighty energy.

I remember my friend Carla saying to me “this project has been really grounding for you Abbey. You have to be here now.”

And it was true.

During this process I learnt that google calender was my best friend.

I saw that all the traits I had rejected just a few years before were actually working in my favour.

They say you want something done, give it to the busiet person in the room.

A busy person is already used to delivering a certain output each day.

And that was definitely the case for me!

I was a machine.

And when my partner and I broke up, me and Jenny single handedly managed to get the project off the ground.

SO HOW DID IT END?

As many of you know, Anahata closed its doors in July 2023.

Despite the huge amounts of work we put into it, ultimately I realised that it was not my purpose or my passion.

Anahata has GIVEN me purpose.

But it was not MY purpose.

In the past I had a tendency to stay in things much longer that I should. You can read about that experience here

But now I could see clearly.

I realised I was investing a huge amount of my time and energy into a project that ultimately did not bring me joy.

And I had a vision of how incredible it would be to invest that time and energy into MYSELF. Into what I REALLY WANTED TO DO.

➡️How many more people could I help?

➡️How much more would I be able to create?

And so I handed back the keys to Anahata.

I made peace with the fact that I had lost all my investment.

And over the following year I:

🌳moved to the countryside

🌳created my coaching business

🌳recorded my album

You can follow my journey here

I don´t think that any of that woyuld have been possible without relying on my masculine energy.

It was this Masculine Energy that allowed me to:

✅show up even when I was tired

✅create and stick to objectives

✅work consistently towards my goals DESPITE the setbacks.

I´m also grateful to my feminine energy that allows me:

🌹to take my daily siesta in the garden

🌹space and time to create my music

🌹 to cook up my ideas for my insta videos.

The key is that both energies are BALANCED.

❌Too much feminine, and I would have had many ideas but not been able to create any of them.

❌Too much masculine and I would have become rigid and controlling.

Getting the balance right is the hardest thing.

And the most rewarding.

TIPS TO BRING BALANCE

If you feel your energies might be out of balance, then here are some ideas that could help you.

I have included ideas from the energetic, phyiscal, and mental planes so that all bases are covered!

1. DRUM. Grab a shamanic drum and start beating. Feel the Earthy vibrations and notice where in your body the sensations are strongest.
2. LIFT WEIGHTS. Pushing yourself physically and accessing your bodily power beyond everyday routine it a great way to get you in touch with your masculine energy
3. SET AN AGGRESSIVE GOAL AT WORK.. Do something that requires a mental push from you. Something you can focus all your attention on. If you are not currently working, consider creating a Meet-up event and inviting your friends. Don’t think too much about it. Find the venue, set the date, and watch the magic happen.

I hope this newsletter was useful to you!

Let me know if you try out any of these ideas.

And you have any questions feel free to reach out to me. I love to hear from you!

Love from Abbey xxx

The post Why your feminine energy is holding you back first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why your feminine energy is holding you back appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

One minute you’re fine and the next you have fallen in right on in.

It’s very difficult to dig your way out.

Exhausting, in fact.

It’s like all the energy goes out of you. You know what you WANT to be doing. You just can’t summon the clarity or motivation to actually do it.

This leads to feelings of GUILT. Especially in the age of Social Media, where it’s so easy to compare yourself to others who appear to be doing it better. Or who appear just to be doing it at all.

Because you are currently unable to get things moving, it’s easy to mistake this as something wrong with YOU and start judging yourself.

You may start to believe:

• I don’t have what it takes…
• I’m not good enough…
• I don’t know what I’m doing…

And the cycle of ruttedness perpetuates.

I know because I have been there.

MY STORY

I was stuck in a huge rut back in 2021.

This was 5 years after I had worked a job that made me REALLY unhappy. You can read my experience as a primary school teacher here.

Back to 2021.

I had just left corporate, and was doing my Coaching Masters. I was also in the process of creating Anahata.

At the time, I didn’t know I was in a rut.

I thought that there was something wrong with ME.

It was tough leaving corporate. Suddenly I was on my own. Now I was wholly responsable for finding the structure necessary to create my vision and make it work financially.

My stuckness felt like a heavy energy in my body.

I had a constant feeling of unease and anxiety, like I “should” be doing something else, or more, or different, or better…

Nothing I did felt like enough.

I felt like I was trying to run through honey.

I felt confused and unclear on “the right way”.

I compared myself to others doing similar things and thought they were doing it much better than me.

This would manifest in behaviour that didn’t help me.

• Instead of investing in getting clear on what I wanted, I would watch documentaries on Gaia.
• Instead of knuckling down with that I needed to do, I would go out for coffee dates with friends.
• Instead of scheduling time in my calendar to work, I would book myself into massages.

I was trying to escape the feeling of stuckness with FUN things, with SOCIABLE things, with HEALING things.

But none of it cured my stuckness.

I had an unmet need which was not being addressed, and I was focussing my attention on the wrong thing.

HOW I GOT OUT OF MY RUT

By behaviour was like a plaster – trying to cover up symptoms instead of getting to the route cause.

I knew something had to change.

But I didn’t know what.

Or how.

Or who.

Around the same time the word “Coach” kept coming to me.

A few years before, I would have pushed through on my own. Back then I thought that asked for help was a sign of weakness and I certainly wouldn´t have considered investing in my own self-development.

But now things were different. Maybe because I myself had a Masters in Coaching, so I knew the power of having sometimes to hold me accountable and break through my own bullshit.

I felt deep down this is what I needed to pull me out of my honey-stuckness and into action again.

But where to find the Coach?!

I had been looking for a Coach for a few months but no one resonated enough for me to put my money down.

I summer 2022 I went to the Sacred Valley and I heard through the grapevine about a man called Jarah Tree.

When I got back, I looked him up and booked a call.

I just knew he was the one to help me. I had never even spoken to him.

He was based in America, and our first call was at 21:30pm at night. That was VERY late for me! But I just know he was the one to help me.

5 minutes before out call I got cold feet. Did I actually want to have this call with him? What if he tried to “sell” me into something I didn’t want?

I remember saying to Jarah in our first call “I want everything we just talked about…but it sounds like a lot of work. I just don’t have the energy”.

I chuckle to myself thinking about that now, not knowing what was in store for me or the HUGE amounts of energy that would be activated as I started moving through the coaching process with him.

After our weekly call which finished at 11pm I felt such a shoot of energy moving through me.

Normally I was in bed by 9pm but this process was awakening something in me.

• I started working on my website
• I started making regular posts on Social Media
• I started having my client calls on the calendar

And after 6 weeks working with Jarah, I had already earnt back my Coaching investment by signing my first client.

It was a snowball effect.

The momentum was building very quickly, and I had got from being stuck-in-a-rut and stagnant, to engaged, inspired and bringing in the clients.

The stagnancy I had felt just weeks before had disappearaed because I had taken aligned action towards my goal of becoming a Coach.

That action led to a result, and that’s how the energy started building, propelling me forwards.

The only way I can describe it is like when you start going to the gym. At first you don’t want to go…you resist…you think how hard it´s going to be…that you don´t know what machines to use. The first time is uncoomfortable and you’re not sure you did it right…but very soon after you start to see a noticetable change in your body. Not only that but you start to feel GREAT. And from that moment on, you are hooked.

I learnt a lot through my Coaching programmes.

In particular about the PROCESS of moving through stagnancy and into aligned action.

And that’s what I want to share with you today.

I wish to share with you what I learnt from my own stagnancy in the hope that it helps you if you ever get stuck in a rut.

These 3 pointers can be used any time, in any place and are guaranted to work every time.

HOW TO GET OUT OF A RUT IN 3 EASY STEPS

1) Identify where you’re feeling stuck

Get specific on which areas of your life are making you feel like this.

• Work?
• Relationship?
• Personal growth?
• Sense of adventure?

If it feels like the stuckness is an overall thing, try to dig a little deeper into the last 2 examples to see if one resonates with you.

You can ask yourself these 3 questions:

• What’s missing in your life right now?
• What do you want more of?
• What do you want less off?

Now you have identified the specific area you’re feeling stuck in, the next step is to uncover the reason why.

2) Identify why you’re feeling stuck

This will always come down to an unmet need, or a particular way you want to feel but don’t in a certain area.

For example, if your issue is around your work and career, it might be that you’re craving challenge and stimulation. Or maybe you want to feel like you’re working toward something significant and meaningful.

If your issue is around restlessness or general boredom, maybe you’re a person who feels stifled by routine. It might be that you want to feel free, or adventurous, or excited about a new experience. Maybe the feeling of the same day playing out over and over is making you feel almost claustrophobic.

Try to dig down into that unmet need or the feeling you’re craving with these questions:

• What is it that you really want?
• Why do you want it?
• How do you want to feel?

Hopefully now you’ve now got a clear idea of where you’re feeling stuck, and why.

This is where the final step comes in.

3) Create a plan to get unstuck.

To get unstuck, something needs to change. If nothing changes, nothing changes, right?!

The change you need can be big or small – it is totally up to you.

There may be times where you need to make a big change, and other times where a small change will make a big difference.

A big change might involve a new job, or a move across the country (or to another country), travel, starting a business, or launching a project.

A small change can be as simple as spontaneous road trips, a mid-week walk along a beach, taking a class, or volunteering.

To formulate your plan, consider these questions:

• If you could, what would you love to do in regards to this issue?
• What’s the scary option?
• What’s the safe option?

With this in mind:

• What action are you willing to take?
• What resources, skills or knowledge do you need?
• Who could help you?

So, there you have it… Simple but effective and actionable today.

Just remember, any time you encounter this feeling of being stuck in a rut in future, it will always comes back to that unmet need or feeling you’re craving.

I hope you found this newsletter useful.

Love from Abbey x

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The post Why I skip my morning routine first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

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The post What if you have already found your purpose, you’re just going about it the wrong way? first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

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– my discipline

-my productivity

-my daily routine

-my following a schedule

-my authentic expression

I only wanted to be in my “feminine energy” and didn’t want anything to do with all the masculine part that brings direction, purpose and drive.

In my desire to “be in flow” I lost all sense of structure. I justified this with spiritual jargon such as “time doesn’t exist”.

As a result my self-discipline went out of the window. And I paid the price:

-I lost my productivity

-I was unable to create my ideas

-I lost my daily routine

-I procrastinated

-I was indecisive

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I felt BAD about myself because I knew I could be doing more.

Recently my coach, Jeff Agostinelli, recommended I take a Strength Finder test by Gallup. It was life-changing.

I finally saw with my own eyes that one my my main strengths is being an ACHIEVER.

Achievers love to get stuff done; they love tasks; they are highly productive.

This changed my perspective about myself.

There was me this whole time rejecting the ACHIEVER side of me, thinking that in order to be spiritual we have to do less and be more.

And in the process I was damaging myself.

I had an idea that spiritual people didn’t need a schedule or deadlines or to exert massive amounts of energy to achieve their dreams.

And so I went against my self-discipline full throttle.

But here’s the thing.

Rejecting a part of us means we lose our integrity. We become less WHOLE.

This means we are unable to live up to our full potential because we are pretending a part of us doesn’t exist.

We are not living in integrity with our essential self and therefore we have less power to create.

“I am disciplined because I know the cost of not being”.

Jeff Agostinelli

When I realised this I started to turn it around.

-I got clear on my quarterly goals

-I translated those into daily habits

-I brought back a timetable.

-I worked to a schedule.

-I wake up early to make the most of the day.

And the consequences of refinding my self-discipline?

-I am building my coaching business.

-I am recording my album

-I am learning guitar, belly dance & voice yoga

-I am hosting singing circles in the city of Barcelona

-I am moving to the countryside

And most importantly, I feel good about myself

-satisfied at the end of a day

-fulfilled

-like my life is moving in the right direction

-like I can trust in my own capacity to create

Am I saying this to brag?

Absolutely not.

I don’t pretend that my life is perfect.

There is also a cost to self-discipline.

-I am extremely focussed, sometimes to the cost of friends and family.

-Sometimes I get stressed and I need to remember to REST.

-I often put too much pressure on myself to reach my goals.

But pressure is important in the process of creation.

That’s how diamonds are made.

I have experience both sides of the coin.

And I know that my life is easier, I acheive more and I feel better about myself when I cultivate my self-discipline.

Therefore I intentionally choose this every time.

If this is something you are also interested in experimenting with, I have put together a fail-safe method. Following these steps will hone your self-discipline and improve your productivity:

1. Get clear on your WHY. Your MOTIVATION is the backbone of everything you do. Without it you will get lost. What do you want to achieve? I´ll give you a clue here: it’s important that this something you are passionate about or something that you yourself have suffered. This is the ultimate motivation and the only thing that can lead to profound engagement (more on this in the next newsletter).

2. Translate your why into a tangible goal: the WHAT. If you want to start a creative project where you can support other people with a particular problem, your goal might be to get your first client. If you want to start sharing your passion of singing, perhaps you want to start a singing circle.

3. Get clear on your WHEN. Pick a date and hold that in your line of vision so that your brain understands the timeline. This makes it more real and much more likely that you achieve it. Rememebr: where attention goes, energy flows.

4. REVSERSE ENGINEER. This is the fun part. Here you take your goals and then work backwards. You look at what morning routine and habits are going to support you to achieve these. If you want to start supporting people in a particular area, you could start a daily habit of reaching out to people in your network. Research will help you gain clarity about what exactly they need help with. If you want to start a singing circle, you could practise singing 30 minutes each day.

4. GET IT DONE FIRST THING. My own experience has taught me to get these done at the start of your day. Get your practice out of the way before you go on to other things. Get your most important work done first thing while your mind is still fresh. Then you have already achieved something. You feel good about yourself because your actions are aligned with your goals. You have a winner’s mindset that you can carry through to the rest of your day.

In summary

I want to remind you that the purpose of self-discipline is not to punish yourself.

Self-discipline does not have to cut your flow.

Quite the opposite actually.

Self-discipline gives you the structure you need to flow with more grace and direction.

I like to use the metaphor of the banks of the river. The water flows down the river, but without the banks of the river supporting it, the water would spill out without any direction.

So it is with life.

The water is you.

The banks of the river are your self-discipline and structure.

It might be fun for a while to live without banks.

You may feel “free” for a time.

But deep down you know that real freedom comes from a life that allows you room for your deepest expression.

And to express yourself fully takes commitment, direction and self-discipline.

If you would like some support getting your self-discipline in order for maximum productivity, or are looking to implement habits that support you moving towrads your goals, get in touch.

You can simply reply to this email or click the link below to book a call.

I hope you enjoyed my newsletter.

Love from Abbey x

The post How I found my self-discipline & productivity again after a spiritual awakening. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post How I found my self-discipline & productivity again after a spiritual awakening. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

If you’ve ever been through a “dark night of the soul” where everything in your life starts going against you and you feel like you’ve lost your POWER TO BE PRODUCTIVE, then keep reading.  I have a personal story for you. 

I see many people lose themselves in spirituality.

I was one of those people.

Although ultimately my Awakening led me to the healing of my body, financial abundance and radiant, vital energy, it wasn’t always this way.

Along the way I encountered a very dark night where I rejected many parts of myself including the productive part of me that enjoys material things, structure and “the system”.

I was very ungrounded and wasn’t able to create here in this physical reality, with the result that my productivity was halted for a good few years. 

Let´s get into what happened:

1. I rejected my masculine energy.

When I discovered my feminine energy I didn’t want anything to do with my masculine energy. I didn’t get that the important thing is to bring them into balance. 

I would say things like “I used to be so in my masculine” as if it was a bad thing and I rejected structure, discipline and time in order to be in my feminine – in order to be in flow.  

This had huge consequences for me as for 3 years I was unable to produce anything or stick to a timetable because I had a subconscious belief that, being a woman, it was “bad” to embrace my masculine energy and get shit done. 

I thought spirituality was all about meditating and being OK with not achieving.

This played out with me often showing up late to meetings and allowing others to disrespect my time in the same way in the name of “being in the flow”. 

In my desire to let go of control, I lost sense of my time boundaries, my structure and what was OK/ not OK for me. 

2. I put the opinions of other “more spiritual” beings above my own.

Because I was new on the spiritual scene, I looked up to others and thought they knew so much more than me.

Especially the ones who were very convinced of how spiritually advanced they were. 

This was the worst thing I could have done for myself.  I allowed people to walk all over me and I lost my boundaries.

I got into a toxic relationship and my partner told me that my energy was too much; I needed to relax; my fiery energy of achievement and focus was not good for him (telling me this at 11am from bed as he’d just woken up). 

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t have a problem with someone waking up at 11am- everyone has different schedules. But when you are doing that and making someone else feel bad about waking up earlier, then we have a problem. 

As a result I lost my fiery spark or motivation and drive, believing this was “bad”. I lost my boundaries and allowed my ex to persuade me to manage my money for me (and lost it all); I started a project called Anahata that was never my dream and invested my life savings into it; and I lost sense of my own intuition because I DIDN’T TRUST IN MYSELF.

It took me 2.5 years to find my productivity – my power to create in the world – again. 

This was the hardest lesson of all and it taught me not to trust someone’s words but instead to look at their actions; to trust in my intuition and look with my heart instead of with my eyes. 

3. I got obsessed with plant medicine as a means to escape

Don’t get me wrong – it was a lot of fun and brought me a lot of empowerment.  But what started out as a healing experience became an obsession and I started to drink a lot of plant medicine as a means to escape this reality.

I started to think this material world wasn’t real and that anyone who hasn’t had the experiences with plant medicine that I had had were crazy. 

I judged the masculine values of productivity and a structured working week as being a negative part of The System. 

It’s true that I received huge emotional and spiritual healing; I found my life purpose and my life took a 180 degree turn around, but eventually after drinking more than 100 times in 3 years I started to ask myself the question “what are you looking for?”

I don’t regret going so deep into plant medicine…and I believe it’s important that everyone follows their curiosity…just never to stop asking yourself the question “why am I doing this?!”

I noticed after drinking Aya sometimes it would take me 2 weeks to come back to reality and to be able to get back into my routine and a structured week that favours productivity and creation. 

And since right now I am in a productive phase of my life where I am creating my coaching business, I prefer to have all my mental faculties sharp and focussed. 

Is it working for me? Yes it is 🔥

Interestingly I have a podcast about my Ayahuasca Adventures. You can check it out here ✨

4. I went fully against the system

This was the craziest bit (and also a very normal stage of your spiritual awakening). 

I went against the structure and production of society, seeing it as just another byproduct of the Patriarchy.

If you haven’t yet had an experience which opens your perspective to view society in this way (be it through at Awakening; through plant medicine; through questioning) then the next part could be triggering for you. But stick with it and remember that I am still a fully functioning member of society and haven’t run off to live naked in the forest (at least not yet).

Seeing the system in another light was extremely painful for me. It was a change of my world view that went against everything I believed and it felt like a death. I couldn’t talk about it with many people in case they thought I was crazy.

I started to see:

1. how societal indoctrination starts at age 4 when we enter the school system
2. The medical system is designed to keep us ill (did you ever heal from prescribed medication?)
3. The food sold to us in supermarket is dead, also designed to keep us ill
4. The inputs received from radio, television and advertising are designed to keep us in a state of perpetual fear (primarily the fear of death)
5. Most people trust the system and follow along because they have not yet had an intense enough/ painful experience to snap them out of it. And if they had they are not open to do the extremely painful work of looking within.

Because I saw this and didn´t accept it, I believed I had to FIGHT against it, with the result that much of my energy went on complaining and fighting rather than CREATING. 

That was an important stage in my development and I understand that when we are breaking out of one belief system we often swing to the other extreme before we find our balance – our middle ground. 

But now I have safely come out the other side and although I STILL believe much of this to be true, I am an integrated member of society and how I use this belief to drive my creations rather than hinder them, ultimately giving me MORE ENERGY, PRODUCTIVITY AND DRIVE.

Now I have reached a place where I am literally in AWE of the structured, productive system we live in.  I am so grateful for: 

1. How The System runs like clockwork
2. The sheer extent of human intelligence in the designing and upkeep of our cities
3. How technology helps me create my business, support my clients and connect with loved ones 
4. The usefulness of public transport!
5. How humans are capable of creating and producing immense wonders 

I feel gratitude to the system AND AT THE SAME TIME I believe it doesn’t have our best interests at heart. Holding both of these beliefs to be true at once allows me to:

1. make my own decisions about what is best for my health and my body
2. exercise my power to CHOOSE (even when we are made to believe there is no choice)
3. heal myself through diet (I healed my Hashimotos autoimmune disease and underactive thyroid naturally despite my doctor telling me I couldn’t)
4. Be careful of what inputs I choose to watch, read and listen to.
5. Focus my productivity into something that lights me up,  helps others & positively affects The System in which we live.

The Kabbalists say the point of spirituality is so that we can live in this material world and not only do I believe this but I am EXPERIENCING this to be true. 

Now I have come out of the other side of my dark night and am feeling HAPPY, GRATEFUL and SUPER PRODUCTIVE 🔥🔥.

I look forward to going to bed just so I can wake up the next morning feeling great and bringing into reality all my sparkly ideas. 

But most importantly I have learnt :

✨everything in moderation (including moderation)

✨never trust someone who tells you to trust them 

✨when you feel the pull to deep dive into something like plant medicine, go for it (and document your experience) but always BE AWARE OF YOUR WHY 

✨to work with the system in a way that energises me, serving both me and my clients

It’s time to ground the shit out of spirituality, my friends.

If you would like some support in integrating your Spiritual Awakening with your PRODUCTIVITY AND POTENTIAL, get in touch with me and let’s explore if we are a fit to work together.

Love from Abbey x

The post Is losing your productivity a necessary byproduct of a spiritual awakening? first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

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