I had beautiful, yet intense trip to Europe this summer.

And I came back to Peru 10 days ago with my cat, Clive.

He is settling in really well and did so well on the 30 hours journey!

But that’s not my main news….

I don’t know if you know yet…but I’m pregnant!

30 weeks and 6 days to be precise.

Which is why my trip to Europe was so intense.

–a trip to England to see my family

–a two week trip around the top European capital cities…in the baking sun

–3 retreats back to back

–3 days in the studio

— getting all the paperwork to take my cat to Peru

–a final farewell trip to Romania

It would have been a lot for anyone.

But for someone 6 MONTHS PREGNANT?!

I am feeling grateful, anxious, happy, worried and everything in between!

A question I am regularly asked is – where will I be having the baby?

In Peru, of course!

I feel super lucky because a year and a half ago I never imagined this would be my reality today.

If you haven´t checked out my article about my love story with Nilton and why I moved to Peru last year…you can do so HERE.

Nilton and I wanted to give it 6 months after I moved to Peru before we started trying for a baby.

And there were some logical reasons for this:

1) We wanted to make sure we were compatible. Agreed, 6 months may not be very long to figure this out. But after having survived narcissistic abuse, I considered my healthy relationship radar to be pretty sharp.

2) I wanted Nilton to meet my family before we started trying for a baby. I didn’t fancy the idea of saying to my parents…”hey, you know I moved to the other side of the world pretty impulsively last year? Well now I’m up the duff with an older Peruvian man you’ve never met…”

3) Nilton was very aware that he was getting older. At 53, it’s not that he can’t have kids, but understandably he wanted to do this sooner rather than later.

It’s so magical that we are having a baby together now. When we met I’d told him I wanted to call my daughter Luna. He was like “me too”.

The fact that we are doing this TOGETHER now is nothing short of a miracle!

Especially because I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to get pregnant! My results never came back positive when I did a self-ovulation test at home.

Nor had I ever had any accidental pregnancies …which at the back of my mind led me to think maybe I wasn’t able to.

Yet…my human design is a Manifestor.

And my nature IS to call into being that which I desire.

So I won’t pretend that I didn’t get my inner witch on and use those manifesting powers.

What did this look like?

Calling in my daugher’s soul around the firelight with the Pachulkans under the light of the July full moon

Using the power of orgasm to call her into being (too much information? Sorry Mummy…)

Using the spoken word to DECREE that we wanted to have a baby

And now here we are, 6 months pregnant in the Sacred Valley, nesting down until we get to meet our daughter in November.

Me being me though…I couldn’t go out without a bang.

Even though I am looking forward to my 6 months maternity leave so I can be present with my daughter in the most important months of her life…

….I still love fulfilling my purpose….

…which is to support others to find theirs.

That’s why this Tuesday 16th September I am launching my first ever GROUP PROGRAMME for women to get clarity on their purpose and take action towards their dreams.

It’s a 7 week online journey with a powerful group of women from around the world.

If you fancy joining us, we have a few spots left.

This will be the last bit of Purpose work I do for the foreseeable future.

I have a feeling this journey into motherhood is going to have an influence on my own purpose going forward…

And if not, let’s stay connected here and on Instagram.

Because I have been busy in the studio this summer recording some more songs which I can’t wait to share with you.

Thanks for reading me and sending you all the love from The Sacred Valley.

Love from Abbey (and Clive my cat)

xxxx

ps – If you would like to listen to my music on Spotify, check out my most popular song EMBRACE YOUR SHADOW here

pps – if you would like more info on my group programming starting this Tuesday 16th September, click here

The post The pitter patter of tiny feet… first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post The pitter patter of tiny feet… appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

In fact, I have had a pattern of attracting narcissists into my life.

❌I’ve been duped out of thousands of euros

❌Called a doormat

❌Allowed my animals to be terrorised at the height of the gaslighting.

But this year I was finally able to meet the man of my dreams.

A man who respects me, cherishes and prioritises me.

I never dreamed I would have a story to tell like this.

But when you’re aligned with your heart´s calling, the universe has a magical way of responding.

Let’s start at the beginning…

It all started with a bout of PMS that inspired me to wonder into the forest…🌳🌳🌳

WHAT DID I DO?

Now I don’t know about you, but I have a history of having severe PMS.

The week before my period I feel

😤angry

😤frustrated

😤anxious

😤like I want to kill everyone

And that’s exactly how I felt in February this year.

During the height of my PMS symptoms, I felt pulled to wonder into the forest by my house in Sant Cebria, Barcelona.

I just wanted to experience peace and I knew the forest could help me with that.

I followed my inution.

Instead of walking straight down the forest path like I usually do, I turned left down a seemingly disused track.

This was the best decision I could have made.

I ended up discovering a beautiful green valley.

I stood there in awe.

The silence & stillness were palpable.

The valley was alive with trees and butterflies. I could see horses in the distance, grazing in their paddock.

I sat down.

I felt held my Mother Nature, like she understood.

And I started to cry.

I cried out all my frustration.

I cried out all my angst.

It felt so good.

When I was done crying, an incredible calm calm over me.

A peace like I hadn’t felt in a long time.

And having released all that frustration and angst, I realised that I actually didn’t want to kill everyone in my sight.

The clarity came.

I was feeling frustrated because I was ready to meet my partner and I hadn’t met him yet.

I was feeling angst because I wanted to have a baby and the clock was ticking.

Up until that point I hadn’t been sure, but the clarity that came through in the forest spoke loud and clear.

I skipped home a new person, enjoying my newfound clarity and peace.

And on the way home a song started coming through.

🎵…I asked for clarity

I asked for peace….🎵

By the time I got home, the song was finished – words, chords, rhythm and all.

It was so catchy – I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I was nervous to share it in my Singing Circle.

What if people didn’t like it?

But when I shared it in my Singing Circle, my friends loved it too!

When I shared it at my beloved Makawe retreat, the ladies asked me where they could hear it.

And so in June this year I raised the funds to record it with my producer Pakandé.

It came out Spotify last Friday. You can listen here.

But the CRAZIEST thing is not the song.

Or that transcendental moment in the forest.

It’s what happened next…

NILTON´S ARRIVAL

I remember a friend suggesting I was probably already friends with my future partner.

I went through my guy friends one by one.

“No!”

“No!”

“DEFINITELY no.”

But in March this year my friend Nilton arrived from Peru for ceremonies.

I had never considered that he might be the one.

In fact, when my friend Desi suggested it would be great if I was attracted to him, I literally shuddered at the thought.

He was my FRIEND. Nothing more.

Looking back, that’s probably why everyone else could see it before us.

I knew that I had a deep love for him.

And that I missed him when he was away.

And that I loved being in his company and he didn’t annoy me after 5 minutes like 99% of people.

But being romantically involved with him?!

It had never crossed my mind…

The 4 weeks we spent together in Spain were so wonderful.

I felt so looked after. So cherished.

And my feelings towards Nilton started to change…

❤️I started noticing how beautiful and long his eyelashes were

❤️I began to recognise how I loved the sound of his deep voice

❤️I really valued the way he looked after me and did stuff for me so I could be in my Feminine Energy.

And on the day he left back to Peru…I told him I had feelings.

I was too chicken to tell him to his face…so I waited until he was on the plane back to Peru.

And to cut a long story short…

…he felt exactly the same. And had done since the moment we met

And to cut an even LONGER story short… now we live together in Peru. You can read all about my move to Peru here.

THE END.

Just joking. As if I would just end it there.

I still have to share that simple trick that helped me manifest my partner don’t I!?

If I think through the process of everything that happened on the run up to falling for Nilton, it’s too magical to believe.

So I try not to think about it.

YES I believe in syncronicities.

YES believe in magic.

But I also like to keep my 2 feet firmly on the ground.

I am also not one for losing myself in stories about past lives or bla bla bla.

I just want to enjoy the present moment.

I want to enjoy this healthy love that I am experiencing.

I want to enjoy my own happiness and give myself permission to live.

And so that´s what I’m doing, one step at a time.

And the trick I used to manifest Nilton?

I didn’t even realise it was a trick.

I simple stated my desire out loud.

I started talking about my desire to meet my man and have a baby.

I shared it at the Makawe retreat infront of all the participants. Even though I went bright red because I felt embarrased and ashamed for the way I felt.

Instead of pretending I didn’t want it…(which was a defense mechanism covering for the fact i thought it was impossible)…

I started to:

💪🏽voice my yearning

💪🏽own my desire.

💪🏽give myself permission to have wants

And it worked.

So how can that work for you?

If you have a desire that deep down you long for…even if you secretly feel it´s a little bit impossible…then SHARE IT.

‼️SAY IT OUT LOUD‼️

‼️WRITE IT IN YOUR JOURNAL‼️

Because words are spells. That´s why they call it spelling.

I can’t wait to hear about your manifestations!!

I hope you enjoyed reading this week’s newsletter.

Love from Abbey ❤️

p.s. – you can check out my new song RELEASE which is out today!!! It’s word-by-word account of what happened to me in the forest…with some pretty flutes and a smokin-hot production.

The post I used this 1 simple trick to manifest my dream partner…. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post I used this 1 simple trick to manifest my dream partner…. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

After 11 years of living in Barcelona, I decided to follow my heart and move to the place I love most in the world.

And what a bloody move it’s been!

Inititally I came for 3 weeks to test out the waters.

(If you haven´t read the backstory about why I was leaving my vibrant life in Barcelona behind, check out my last newsletter here)

Although I came for love, I am staying for much more than that.

I know deep down that this is where I am meant to be.

And even so…there are MANY things that don’t work out here.

For me.

From my life perspective.

M-A-N-Y!

I have gone from having life under control in Europe, to being thrown in at the deep end into customs and traditions that are not my own.

I have gone from having my day-to-day run like a well-oiled machine, to being out of oil and needing to take a quick crash course in Mechanics!

But that’s all part of the journey, right?

In this newsletter I’m going to give you some concrete examples of situations I´ve experienced that don’t make sense to my European mind.

I will also share 3 lessons I’ve learnt that I hope will support you if you ever decide to move to Peru.

MOVING INTO OUR NEW FLAT

My partner, Nilton, and I have been living in our flat together for 4 weeks.

Naturally, when we moved into our flat together, we were excited.

The flat is in Lamay, nestled into the foot of the mountains, surrounded by trees and tranquility.

Stepping out of the flat it like going back in time 300 years – hardly any one in the streets, higgeldy piggeldy mud houses & unpaved streets.

In particular I was delighted to move into a flat that was one tenth of the price I pay for my house in Barcelona.

We agreed with the owner the moving date.

We packed our stuff.

And, being European, I expected everything to go smoothly.

SILLY ME!

Arriving at the flat, I instantly noticed it hadn’t been cleaned.

My excitement dissolved into annoyance and disgust.

The oven was covered in oil splats, the bathroom sinks were caked in toothpaste marks and there were urine stains in the toilets.

But worst of all…THERE WERE DIRTY SHEETS ON THE BED!

It was already evening time and so there was no way we could get a cleaner to come out.

Luckily for us, the owner saw my distress and brought us some fresh sheets.

Still, moving into a dirty flat was one of low lights of my time in Peru so far.

I was really in shock!

I own a flat in Barcelona and rent it out. I would never ever DREAM of renting it to someone without having cleaned it first.

It makes me embarrassed to even think about.

Which is why it was such a shock for me.

Cleanliness is one of my values.

So if a situation arises which goes against that value, I get upset.

But CLEANLINESS is not a value for everyone.

This was an important lesson for me.

#LESSON 1: NEVER ASSUME, ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK.

NO HOT WATER

Since I arrived in Peru the lack of hot water has been following me around like…a broken boiler.

Now I am an Impacter, and at one point in my life cold showers were my bread and butter.

BUT NOT ANYMORE, YOU HEAR ME?!

Cold showers are cool when I choose them. I get to show people what a warrior I am.

But when cold water is forced upon me, it’s a different story.

I move from Warrior mode to grumpy little princess.

Now I´ve been visitng Peru regularly since 2021. And in that time I only remember having a handful of hot showers.

Which is why, when I moved into my first house in Rinconada, there was only tepid water, I didn’t say anything. I just got on with it.

Until the water went from tepid to cold.

And I needed to wash my hair.

When I messaged the landlady, she was very quick to explain how she had never had problems with the hot water in that house. She went on to justify how they had just changed the gas bottle.

You can imagine my delight at the insinuation that I must be mistaken about the water not being hot.

At this point I pulled out the big guns.

I called upon my European assertiveness and invited her to come and test it for herself.

It was fixed the next day.

Great! Cold water solved.

Or so I thought…

Was the universe really going to let me get away that easily?…

Of course not.

When we arrived at our new flat, the water was cold.

When we enquired, we found out that the water was heated by solar panels.

Not ideal, especially when the rainy season is nearly upon us.

Solar panels meant there was only hot water between 1000 and 1400 – which doesn´t work for us early risers.

At this point I didnt need to get all European because my partner stepped in and insisted that we get a heating system that works.

And the result? We got a brand new electric shower.

#LESSON 2: BE ASSERTIVE & ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT

RENTING A CAR

I knew very early on that I would need a car.

The public transport system in the Valley is…interesting to say the least.

The “collectivos” (minibuses) are very regular during the day time. But they stop around 20:30 at night.

I have been stranded in Pisac because of this on more than one occasion.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great that there is regular public transport here. It means people can get around, see their families & go to work.

But there are things I see & experience which make me uncomfortable.

My main concerns with Peruvian public transport are based on the disregard of common rules we have grown up with in Europe

❌Many drivers are on their phones as they drive

❌They drive much faster than the speed limit.

❌There is often standing room only

AND…

❌They will suddenly slow right down to go over a hump in the road.

Which is OK if you have a seat…

…but if you are not lucky enough to get a seat, then you may suddenly be thrown from one side of the bus to the other.

It’s not ideal.

You want to know what else isn’t ideal?

The cost of car rental in the Valley!

In Barcelona I am renting my car out while I’m away for 150€/month.

Here, the minimum price you can find is 600USD/month.

And that’s after negotiating a few days down from 1100USD/month.

You can imagine why I was reticent to hire a car.

I wanted to buy one, but as I don’t yet have my residency or Peruvian driving license, I didn’t want to risk it.

But when the trauma of taking public transport outweighs the trauma of expensive car hire, you get clear on your priorities.

I was all ready to pay the 600USD/month.

We agreed the price.

We arranged when and where to meet.

And then my partner’s friend offered to rent me his car for 375USD/month.

I jumped at the chance and quickly thanked the other guy but told him I wouldn’t be needing his car.

He wasn’t very happy.

So that bridge was burnt.

But, as I told him, I would be mad not to accept the cheaper offer.

Or that’s what I thought.

Until I actually rented the car, that was.

There were a string of events that left me questioning the meaning of the word integrity.

The day we agreed to pick up the car, we had to travel to Urubamba which is around 45 minutes by public transport.

As we were en route to Urubamba we rang Nilton’s friend to confirm the meeting place…and there was no answer.

Nor was there any answer over the next few hours… or any time during the next 2 days.

He just went dead on us.

And this was a supposed friend!

My initial thought was to go back to the original guy offering his car for 600USD.

And then I remembered that option no longer existed.

That bridge had been burnt.

So I resigned myself to having no car.

And as is the way with the universe when you let things go, Nilton’s friend reached out on Monday as if nothing had happened.

And wanted us to go and pick up the car.

If that scenario had played out in Europe, I would have been like “no way hozay”.

But when you are a long way from home, and options are scarce, you take what you can get.

Yuujuu!

Finally I had a car.

So the drama ended there, right?

Of course not.

That was only the beginning.

The next morning I went to the gym, happy as Larry with my new rental car.

I had a great workout, got back in my car to drive home, put the key in the ignition and….the engine wouldn’t start.

I rang the guy to ask if this was a regular occurrence.

He replied “yes, you just need to open the bonnet and move the terminal so it connects.”….as if it was completely normal part of starting the car.

Luckily some kind man at the gym helped me.

And more importantly, the owner of the car came to change the terminal that day.

Fortunately since then the engine has worked fine.

But as we would learn the next day- the engine was the least of our problems!

A bigger issue would be actually getting in the car.

For the last 3 days, the car key doesn’t work.

It enters the keyhole, and turns…but… the door doesn’t open.

You can imagine my frustration just yesterday when I was all ready to go to the gym at 8am.

I’d had my protein powder, I was feeling fired up for a work out, I get to my car and….the door won’t open.

Needless to say, I didn’t get to the gym yesterday.

(But I did have a lot of time to start writing this newsletter!).

For now, we have resorted to not locking the car in case I can’t get back in.

It seems to be the best solution for now.

And lucky we live in very quiet village with hardly anyone around.

And hopefully the desire for it not to be stolen is inspiration for the owner to get a key that works to us, right?

#LESSON 3: WHEN OPTIONS ARE SCARCE, TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET

SO…WHY AM I STAYING?

Despite all of these exciting events happening over the last few weeks, I am not disheartened.

I know what it’s like to build a life again from scratch.

That’s what I did when I moved to Barcelona from the UK in 2013.

You can read about that here.

It was harder back then.

When you don’t know yourself and where you’re headed, it’s easy to be blown around in the wind. It´s easy to accept situations that dont make you happy.

But this time it’s easier.

I have moved to Peru with my own ecosystem of Coaching & Singing Circles that I have been building over the last 4 years.

With the ecosystem integrated within me, it’s been easy to replicate it here.

The best way I can describe it is this:

I feel I have been picked up by the grab-a-teddy machine and dropped into another place where everything still works.

It’s just different a landscape and different people.

But my morning gym sessions, biweekly Singing Circles, Coaching, & Ceremonies are all the same.

There’s even a recording studio where I can record my next songs!

But I can’t deny that there’s an added something special in my life.

I’m in love ❤️

I’m with someone who treats me like a Queen.

Now I understand why God didn’t allow me to settle.

And that’s beautiful.

CONCLUSION

And this brings us to the end of this week’s newsletter.

Even though there are many things that don´t work, I am happy here.

Waking up and seeing the mountains gives me such a sense of inner peace.

Living in a place without distractions enables me to focus on building my business.

And even so, people recognise me here. Every week someone comes up to me saying “you’re the girl that makes those funny videos”.

For me that´s a sign that I’m in the right place!

But the biggest sign is that I feel happy, joyful and at peace.

I hope you enjoyed reading this week’s newsletter.

Love from Abbey xxx

p.s. – listen to my latest release YOUR VOICE here, available now on Spotify & all other major platforms

The post Why I’m staying in Peru – for good! first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why I’m staying in Peru – for good! appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

So why would I leave it all?

The answer is LOVE.

But, for logic’s sake, let’s start at the beginning.

THE BEGINNING

For those who have known me for…any amount of time…you will know that I have a long-standing love affair with Peru.

I first set feet in the Motherland when I was 23 years old.

My boyfriend at the time didn’t want to join me.

But that wasn´t going to stop me!

I went alone, and it changed the course of my life.

I look back on the first time I climbed Macchu Piccu as a spiritual experience.

I didn’t even consider myself spiritual at the time.

But there was something magical about waking up at 3 in the morning and leaving the small town of Aguas Calientes on foot to climb the Inca-sized steps leading up the mountain.

When I returned back to England, I was a changed woman.

✅I broke up with my partner.

✅I decided to leave England.

✅I interviewed for a job in Barcelona and was successful.

That was 11 years ago. The rest is history.

SPAIN

I moved to Barcelona in summer 2013.

The first year I was mesmorised by the city.

It was like Never Ever Land.

But very soon after, my health, relationships and career started failing. Read about that *HERE*

That is what led me to the healing path.

It started down the typical route

⭐️psychotherapy

⭐️diagnosis of food intolerances

⭐️diagnosis of autoimmune disease

And that’s when I started looking for real answers.

**Enter Ayahuasca**

MY AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE

When I sat in my first ceremony in January 2020 it all started to make sense.

The plant came from Peru. It was literally Pacha Mama speaking directly with me.

I understood why I had had such a connection with Peru back in 2012.

I understood my life had been altered by that first visit to Peru.

It had altered the course of my life and put me on the right path so that I could heal.

AND I HEALED SO MUCH!

In the next year I would go on to leave my soul-destroying 9-5, learn the guitar and start writing music.

And in that first, life-altering weekend I met Nilton.

He had come to play music in ceremony.

He served me my first rapé.

We had a special connection from the beginning.

But it was purely platonic.

We became friends.

The next year, when I hopped on a plane and returned to Peru, I hung out with him as well as my other friends in the Sacred Valley.

He showed me some cool spots and I felt very comfortable with him.

Whenever he was in Spain we would hang out, and the same when I was in Peru.

He is a very good musician and I have always loved learning from him. He taught me a lot of the songs we share together in circle.

I remember the thought crossing through my mind when I was last in Peru in summer 2022 “I could never be with Nilton because of XYZ”.

My mind came up with a million reasons why we could never be together.

Because:

❌ he was shorter than me

❌ he was older than me

❌ he lived in Peru

❌ he had kids

I thought what my mind was telling me was THE TRUTH. I didn’t realise that it was showing me all the blockages my mind had to work so I could receive love. So I could open up to the idea of being with someone who ACTUALLY RESPECTS ME.

It’s hard though when we’ve been sold the disney idea of what our prince would look like. What my MIND thought I wanted was something along the lines of:

✅tall

✅European

✅bilingual

But where did that land me?

Toxic relationship after toxic relationship.

That’s what happens when you look with your eyes, not with your heart.

When I got back from Peru in 2022 I missed Nilton so much. But I was busy with my centre Anahata and so I settled back into Barcelona life.

However, upon my return to Europe I did put on my visionboard “put the financial structure in place to move to Peru by 2024”.

I tried to fish out a picture for this newsletter but after an hour scrolling through my phone, I gave up. You’ll have to make do with the mental image.

Once day Nilton sent me a message telling me that he had developed feelings for me while I was in Peru… but I didn’t feel the same.

I shared that with him and he understood and never mentioned it again.

It didn’t affect our friendship. We continued senidng each other messages, voice messages and videos of each other playing music.

It’s not that I forgot about Peru. But I had other pressing matters to attend to, like Anahata.

My friend Benjo told me that one day everything would align for me to go there.

I prayed it would be so. But didn’t really believe it.

I was also starting to worry that I would never meet anyone.

And besides, I had VERY particular needs.

Where on EARTH would I meet someone who:

⭐️was mature & had a trajectory of inner work under his belt?

⭐️might be prepared to move to The Sacred Valley one day

⭐️played music?

⭐️enjoyed a good Ayahuasca ceremony like I did

⭐️was grounded with a stable job

⭐️was respected in his community

⭐️didn’t need anything from me

⭐️had integrity, kindness, presence & devotion

It seemed the odds were stacked against me.

I remember a friend once suggested maybe I already knew who I was going to fall in love with.

I literally went through all my guy friends one by one.

I was like, “nope, nope, nope, DEFINITELY nope…”

But in February this year 2 things happened which opened up a door on my path and put me in touch with my deepest desires.

THE POWER OF SHARING

In February I was playing some music at my beloved Makwee Women’s Retreat.

In the intention setting, I took a risk and decided to leave behind the shield of protection I often wear as a facilitator. I chose to share how I was feeling, warts and all.

I stood up and expressed my frustation that I hadn’t met partner yet. I remember feeling embarrassed to share that I was feeling this way…but I had to be honest. I said out loud “I’m doing all the work on myself so… “where the fuck is he?!”

Having the courage to express that was very rewarding because sisters kept coming up to me all weekend saying “he´s on his way. You´re going to meet him very soon.”

And I started to believe it.

The same month, I had a transcendental experience in the forest that changed everything

RELEASE

In February I was feeling very pre-menstrual.

I was stressed, angry and frustrated.

I felt called to wonder into the forest near my house.

By now I knew better than to ignore my instinct.

I took a left turn and turned onto a path I’d never set foot on.

After a few winding minutes it opened up to a beautiful green valley.

I sat there in the stillness and contemplated my life.

I felt Mother Nature holding me with her all-embracing love.

I was humbled by her presence and all-knowingness.

And there in the forest, I burst into tears and cried and cried and cried.

And the clarity and the peace that came through in that moment were that not only did I want to find my partner . But I also wanted to have a baby.

Up until that moment I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mum.

But the clarity came through loud and strong.

On my way home the song Release came through, word for word.

You can listen to it *here*

It will be released on Spotify in the next months.

THE MAGIC OF MANIFESTATION

Life continued. I got on with my day to day.

I didn’t think anything else of it.

And the next month, Nilton came over from Peru.

My friend Desi who knows us both said to be before he arrived “babe, wouldn’t it be amazing if you and Nilton got together”.

I feel bad but I literally shuddered and said “no way.”

He was my friend – it was weird for me to think of him in any other way.

Even so, it was always so easy with him. He was respectful, kind, curious and never tried anything with me. That’s why I felt so safe with him.

And the conversation with him just FLOWED. We could talk about everything and anything.

We went to Ibiza with some dear friends for a magical ceremony by Es vedrá, our other friend Jamie flew in from Peru and we travelled around Catalunya.

And the whole time I felt myself wanting to be closer…

and closer…

…and closer

to Nilton.

His presence…his integrity…his curiosity in me…his HUMILITY!

I started noticing what beautiful long eyelashes he had.

I loved the sound of his voice.

I couldn’t wait for everyone to leave so it would just me him driving along, talking, laughing, reminiscing.

And I felt a deep sadness that he would be leaving soon and I wouldn´t see him for a long time.

I started imagining what it would be like to kiss him.

And on his final night, I felt my heart open fully to him.

BUT…

there was an obstacle.

My shyness.

How does one say “I have developed feelings for you and I need to tell you?”

Well apparently, just like that.

But my shyness got the better of me and I waited until he was in Madrid boarding his flight back to Peru to tell him.

His response was so beautiful.

“You have made me the happiest man alive. You know that I have had feelings for you for a long time.”

Since then we´ve been speaking every day, two, three times a day.

And things are going well.

I don’t feel the fiery sparks of youthful passion. My experience with those is that they burn out pretty quickly.

What I do feel a strong, stable inner fire that burns consistently.

And that makes me feel very FULL inside.

Which means that now we can pivot back to the title of this story.

TODAY, SATURDAY 10TH AUGUST, I AM MOVING TO PERU FOR 3 MONTHS.

Originally I had booked my flights for 3 weeks. But when I realised that this love story could actually have a future, I took the reigns of my life and decided to FIND OUT FOR REAL.

And everything has aligned, just as Benjo said it would:

🦙I will work from Peru.

🦙Pakandé is going to lead our Singing Circles while I´m away

🦙I´ve rented out my room to a dear friend

🦙I´ve even rented out my car

❤️I am going to a place that I have loved for 12 years.

❤️I have beautiful friends out there who I´m looking forward to spending more time with.

❤️My dear Nilton is out there waiting for me.

And I’m leaving on a high.

I heard once it’s better to run towards something than to run away from something.

And that´s exaclty how I feel.

Had I moved years ago I would definitely have been running away from my failing centre Anahata. I needed to build myself up again in order to be riding the wave of life.

And now that I am, I will only accept situations & relationships which are good, if not BETTER than what I currently have.

(which is pretty damn great and I feel very lucky).

And let’s be VERY realistic about this.

I don’t know if it´s going ot work out.

I am excited and nervous and happy and scared all rolled into one.

But I have a chance at love. In a place that I love. Surrounded by people that I love.

It’s true it may not work out.

We never know what life has in store for us.

But as my dad says, you have to task a risk in order to find out.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of my newsletter.

Stay tuned to hear how I get on in Peru!

Love from Abbey

ps – Listen to my new song Embrace Your Shadow here.

The post Why I’m leaving my happy life in Barcelona to move to Peru for 3 months first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why I’m leaving my happy life in Barcelona to move to Peru for 3 months appeared first on Abbey Sykes.