I was 25 when I decided to leave the UK and move to Barcelona to build a new life.

I was 27 when I decided to leave my six year teaching career to retrain as an HR specialist.

I was 31 when I decided to leave my career in HR to retrain as a Coach.

I was 33 when I released my first album (which you can listen to here).

I was 35 when I decided to move to Peru to take a chance on love.

Now I’m 37.  And I’ve just had my first baby.

(Which, by the way, makes me a geriatric mother according to the medical system).

But it’s not about age.

It’s the stories we TELL ourselves about our age.

My point is that whatever year you were born, it’s easy to think you’re too old (or too young for that matter).

But that’s just your mind keeping you small.

I remember my first boyfriend having a breakdown at 26 because he wanted to leave Air Traffic Control and he didn’t know what else he could do.

He was literally going crazy thinking that it was too late for him to start all over again.

I’m sure if he looked back now he would recognise that he was but a spring chicken and back then the world was his oyster.

But it’s difficult to see that at the time.

Because we’re do focussed on where we think we SHOULD be.

Which is ludicrous if you think about it.

Because when you look back at your life path, all the pieces of the puzzle slot into place.

You can’t be anywhere but right where you are.

It’s just that you can’t see that looking forwards.

Only in hindsight.

Imagine that you are your 80 year old self right now, looking backwards to your present age.

See that possibility and opportunity lies in store for you?!

You have so many adventures still to come.

But you need to give yourself permission.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR YOU?

Maybe right now you are in a career that sucks the soul out of you.

Maybe you are in a relationship that you know deep down isn’t for you.

Maybe you want to go travelling but don’t have anyone to go with.

Maybe you dream of moving to Spain but you don’t know any Spanish.

If not now, than when?!

You’re not getting any younger and time’s not getting any slower.

My mum left her job as a solicitor at 60 so that she could pursue her dream of writing a book!!!

So if you have been waiting for permission to do the thing that’s on your heart, CONSIDER THIS YOUR PERMISSION.

You’re not too old, and it’s not too late.

YOU’RE RIGHT ON TIME.

Love from Abbey xxx

The post You’re not too old. It’s not too late. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post You’re not too old. It’s not too late. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

Most of them kept me distracted and out of pocket.

They didn’t really add to my growth, but allowed me to feel like I was moving forwards (albeit superficially).

I was investing just enough on digital programmes to pretend to myself I wanted change.

But not enough to keep myself from making any deep transformation.

Why?

Because deep down I was SCARED.

❌What if I failed?

❌What if I didn’t see results?

❌What if I “wasted” all that money?

My relationship with choosing what to invest in changed when I found my first coach.

I had been searching for a good 6 months.

A few people had offered but there was no one who made me feel that instinctive YES in my heart.

Eventually I came across the man I knew could help me.

He was into the same things as me – plant medicine, music and Peru…

Still, I was a little skeptical.

Why would coaching be any different from my pre-recorded online courses?

And the price did scare me a little.

But something deep down told me to TRUST.

Because:

➡️ this was EXACTLY the thing I had been looking for.

➡️ I would be supported by someone living the LIFESTYLE I WANTED

➡️ It was facilitated by someone who was spiritual, into ceremonies AND able to create financial abundance (…a rare thing!)

I knew this was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to miss.

And thank goddess I didn’t miss it.

MY RESULTS

Because after signing up, I earned back my investment after just 6 weeks by landing my first client.

In that moment, I saw the transformational power of Coaching.

I experienced for myself the power of having someone who has BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT supporting you.

I came face to face with the direct result of taking aligned action towards your dreams.

And as a result, my mindset on “buying” and “receiving support” radically shifted.

Before, I thought I was being sensible by not investing too much in my growth.

Now I understand that being “sensible” was just a protection mechanism.

“Sensible” was designed to keep me small.

“Sensible” was preventing me from making any real change.

In reality, investing in my growth was THE most sensible thing of all.

Because it brought about rapid fire results.

Could I have done it myself?

Yes, but it probably would have taken me 10 years.

Was there a benefit to working with somebody more experienced, who had already walked that path?

Totally. By absorbing everything they had learnt (mistakes and all), I was able to collapse that timeline into 3 months.

Suddenly, I was on a roll.

My motivation, fire and zest for life were back.

And I had accountability from someone who was CHEERING ME ON and SUPPORTING me all the way.

Instead of spending money on jewellery, designer handbags or expensive holidays, I committed to INVESTING IN MY GROWTH.

From the outside, nothing changed.

But on the inside, EVERYTHING had changed.

SO TELL ME…WHAT CHANGED?!

That’s how I went from losing my life savings in a project that didn’t work out (read about that here), with no other work lined up, to:

⭐️Moving to the countryside

⭐️Being surrounded by soul family.

⭐️Recording my first album

⭐️Calling in my partner

⭐️Creating a thriving Coaching business

⭐️My business growing enough to support me moving to Peru

⭐️Earning more working for myself than I ever did in Corporate.

⭐️Our retreats filling out by word of mouth alone

⭐️Healing my autoimmune disease

Am I saying my life is perfect?

❌No.

⚫️I still make mistakes.

⚫️There are days I wake up grumpy.

⚫️Sometimes I owe my friends an apology.

Am I saying that miracles have come into my life that have left me happier, healthier and wealthier than before?

✅Absolutely.

I started to see in real time how investing in self brought results.

And not just financial (although financial was also very clear win).

But emotional, mental, spiritual and physical too.

It all started with me saying YES to investing in myself and YES to receiving support.

It all started with me choosing TRUST over FEAR.

After all, trust and fear are both asking you to believe in something you can’t see.

So which are you going to choose?

If you have been longing for support, but you see yourself putting it off, worrying about WHAT IFs or self-sabotaging, then I get you, because I have also been there.

And my invitation to you would be to TRUST yourself by INVESTING in yourself.

On the other side of that decision, there are treasures waiting for you that you can’t even imagine right now.

MESSAGE FROM THE UNIVERSE

If you’ve been thinking about getting support from someone in particular but have been putting off reaching out, GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT PERSON!

In ten years time you will wish you had started NOW.

What have you got to lose?

If you are looking for support on your journey but don’t know where to get started, DM me the word “PURPOSE” and I’ll send you a free workshop.

Not only will you come away with clarity on what it is you want to do, but you’ll also have motivation and certainty on your next steps to take action on your dreams.

If I can do it, you can do it!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter and I hope to see you soon.

Love from Abbey

xxx

The post Why online courses kept me stuck…(and what I did instead) first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why online courses kept me stuck…(and what I did instead) appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

Although at the time it was hard, ultimately was the best thing that ever happened to me.

For those of you who know me, you will know about my centre, Anahata.

It started as a beautiful dream.

But since it was never MY dream, it was doomed to fail.

We went about it the wrong way round. Instead of having a steady client base first, we decided to create the centre and hope the clients would come.

They did, but not in the amounts we needed to break even or generate profit.

In April 2022, three months after we opened, we were already haemorraging money.

That was hard to sustain, seeing as through I was the sole investor.

I felt like all my energy was being sucked out of my solar plexus.

I felt like no one else understood.

And they didn’t, because it wasn’t their money.

I felt a huge pressure to make it work.

❌To make it work despite the fact I wasn’t enjoying it.

❌To make it work despite the fact that running a centre didn’t light me up.

This pressure made me stay 1.5 years longer than I should have done.

Underneath the pressure, there was fear.

Fear of giving up.

Fear of quitting.

What would people think of me?

What would I tell people?

How could I face losing all the investment?

What else would I do?

How could I tell my family I had failed?

And so I held it all together.

Although I wasn’t holding it all together at all, as I was displaying clear signs of burnt out.

❌I was severely exhausted.

❌I felt overwhelmed at the backlog of messages from friends, family and clients that I didn’t have time to respond to.

❌I wasn’t being the happy, friendly person I wanted to be with my clients.

❌I resented my friends who had free time and fun weekends

❌I came home emotionally drained, with no capacity to do anything other than sleep.

❌I had no time or space for my creativity.

❌I started to question what was the point of living.

Opening up the possibility

When friends suggested the possibility of closing Anahata, I was shocked and offended.

“How can they be saying this to me?! They don’t have my best interests at heart. They don’t care about my money.”

What I now understand is that it was ME that didn’t have my best interests at heart.

❗️I thought that staying in a job that was making me sick was more important than my happiness.

❗️I thought that money was more important than my wellbeing.

❗️I thought that staying in a situation that made me question the point of living was more important than my mental health.

It was my dad that eventually made me see sense.

I had felt that Anahata was an energy leak (both physically and financially) for a while.

But my ego and stubbornness not to “quit” or “be a failure” forced me to keep going.

When my dad eventually suggested I decide upon a date to put a line in the sand and call it quits, I was able to let go.

Having someone I loved reflect back to me what I was feeling but was unable to see was the permission I needed.

What I learnt

This season of my life taught me more than either of my business Masters ever had.

My Masters had taught me how to succeed.

But what they HADN’T taught me was how to fail.

And it was failure – the very thing I was running from – that turned out to be my biggest asset.

I learnt that failure was not my enemy but rather the catalyst for MONUMENTAL GROWTH.

Failure taught me everything I know – in particular, about my focus, objectives and values.

By failing, there was nothing left to run from.

There was nothing left to lose.

By failing, I found myself in the exact position I had been dreading, and realised it wasn’t actually that bad.

In fact, it was kind of pleasant.

It was pleasant because FINALLY I was able to let go of everything I had been resisting:

⭐pretending I was OK

⭐️trying to prove I was a success

⭐️putting finance over my health and wellbeing

⭐️not asking for help

⭐️holding on to something out of fear

That’s how I learnt that what hurt was not failure.

It was the FEAR of failure.

Failing taught me to let go of what I didn’t want.

And instead taught me the importance of going after what I DID want.

And what was that?

-Peace

-Fulfillment

-Connection

-Creativity

-Time and Space

-Friends and family

-Nature

-Happiness

When I got clear on my values, I started to understand why Anahata hadn’t worked out.

And that clarity enabled me to start investing time and focus into the things that DID give me energy.

✅I started growing my singing circles

✅I recorded my first album

✅I moved to the countryside

✅I invested in my first business Coaching container

I had got over the misguided desire to focus on money and simply focused on what lit me up.

And as is always the way when you are aligned with your heart’s purpose…

…I started to make money doing what I loved!

More money than I had made in Anahata.

More money than I had made in Corporate.

And I realised that I had to lose that 200,000 euros in Anahata doing something I wasn’t good at and something I didn’t love…

…to value the thing I DO love

…to choose my CALLING over CAPITAL

…to know what’s important to me and where I want to invest my energy

So what’s next?

Now I am freed from the fear of failure, I know I can’t go wrong.

I know that there is no failure.

Only lessons and growth.

And I also know that if something is right for you, it will give you energy, not take it away.

That’s why I now support women looking to transition from their soul-destroying 9-5 and find out what they actually want to do.

That has been my own journey.

And it’s my greatest joy to have turned my pain into power and to support other women to do the same.

I hope this week’s newsletter has inspired you.

If you are looking to find your purpose, but not sure where to get started, then I am holding an intimate online workshop this Thursday 1st May.

I will be sharing the signature process I teach my clients to help them find their purpose, as well as the blocks that can stop you from getting in touch with your purpose.

If you fancy joining, it’s only €7, and you can sign up using the link below.

Love from Abbey xxx

The post What losing 200,000€ taught me about purpose. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post What losing 200,000€ taught me about purpose. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

What if you make the wrong decision?

How can you know if a decision is going to benefit you?

There are so many things to consider:

🌟what you think

🌟how you feel

🌟past experiences

🌟your friends’ and family’s opion

And for those of us who are spiritually connected, it gets even harder!

🤷‍♀️what insights did you get from your last ceremony?

🤷‍♀️what is your intuition saying?

🤷‍♀️are the universal signs telling you yes or no?

There are so many factors to bear in mind, no wonder we often get stuck in uncertainty and doubt.

I am of the belief that everything is working for our higher good.

HOWEVER, I also know from experience that taking the wrong decision has cost me:

❌hundreds of thousands of euros

❌my health & happiness

❌the desire to live

When I was heamorraging money and my health was suffering, life got a whole lot harder.

Here is my story illustrating the consequences of a bad decision, followed by what I learnt.

MY STORY

In January 2020 I sat in my first Ayahuasca ceremony.

It was the catalyst for a Spiritual Awakening which lasted a good few years afterwards.

Although spiritual awakenings are often glamourised, the reality is that they are challenging and painful.

During my Spiritual Awakening I got very CONFUSED.

A lot of things I heard in the Spiritual Community sounded very sexy.

–“time doesn’t exist.”

–“no one’s opinion matters apart from your own”

–“everyone’s on their own journey”.

The truth is there is a lot of bullshit & manipulation.

If you are new on the spiritual scene, it’s easy to get confused and put certain people on a pedestal.

People who don’t have your best interests at heart.

That’s exactly what happened to me.

***Enter my ex, stage left***

For the purposes of this newsletter, we’ll call him Arash.

And that’s literally what he was.

A bad rash.

Arash was different from other men I’d met.

Despite only being 25, he was so sure of himself.

He was convinced that he knew the right way.

And he was very charming.

From the beginning, he was showing typical signs of Narcissicm.

But I was under his spell ✨. I couldn’t recognise the signs.

Very soon after he moved into my flat, he persuaded me he didn´t have to pay rent, and started meddling with my finances.

He convinced me to take 60k out of my savings and invest them into crypto with him managing the funds.

He had no idea what he was doing. But he was damn good at selling himself.

Around the same time I noticed he was irrascible – his moods would change from fun to demonic at the drop of a hat.

But he was charming and had a knack of persuading me it was my fault.

And because I wasn’t rooted in myself, I believed him.

Around a month into our relationship we said started talking about renting the local that was up for rent below my flat. Our idea was to have a place to hold drumming circles and the odd kambo session.

As we started looking around spaces, our idea grew and we realised would need different facilitators to hold sessions.

We made some pretty unfair agreements (which, looking back, are clean signs of maniupation).

We “agreed”:

❌ I would put 120k investment in and him nothing

❌ he would receive a 2k/month from the investment but not me

❌ he would be the CEO & take decisions & my job was to put the money in

Looking back…it sounds absolutely crazy.

Even more so when he told me I couldn’t get involved in the interior design because I didn’t have the experience.. He told me that my being involved would slow the project down…(despite him living rent-free in my beautifully decorated apartment).

So he brought in a girl that he’d met through a dating app.

And I had to pay her…

At the same time, Arash was being very shady about my crypto investment. When I asked him how it was doing, he got very angry and said if I wanted to know I had to organise a time to sit down with him.

Later on he said the opposite and said I needed to learn how to manage the crypto.

It makes me cringe now.

But when you knees deep into being gaslight by a Narcissist, you don’t see it.

Until you do.

The crypto market started crashing and I saw how my money was being flushed down the drain.

And how he didn’t seem to care.

His spell was starting to wear off.

The final nail in the coffin came after 11 months. He started screaming at me in the car, calling me his doormat.

By now he had lost the covert manipulation of a narcissist and was just being a full blown wanker.

Luckily for me.

Because it allowed me to SEE what was happening and cut him out of my life.

If you want to hear the whole story about the narcissistic abuse I suffered for 11 months, click here.

But this was only the beginning.

I was left with a huge centre to pay for in the centre of Barcelona.

I had signed the contract for 2 years.

We had just started renovations costing 80k.

The monthly costs just to break even were 4700€.

And we had zero clients.

You can imagine how I felt when the stark reality of what I had got myself into hit home.

The consequences were soon apparent:

❌ I stopped seeing my friends

❌ My herniated disk flared up

❌ I became hard and rigid in my interactions with people

❌ I lost weight

❌ I stopped laughing

❌ I became a rude and unfriendly from the pressure I felt

❌ I started questioning “what’s the point” of life

I managed to keep going for a year before my dad suggested I close Anahata.

He told me Anahata was a drain on me, and he was right.

Not only on my finances, but on my time, energy, health and happiness.

But the investment?

I wanted to find someone to take over so I could at least get part of my investment back.

I spent another 6 months looking for someone to take on the project.

A few people were interested but it came to nothing.

Eventually I set an ultimatum and decided enough was enough.

I realised that my health and happiness was more important than money.

I had learnt a good deal that would ensure I never make the same mistakes again.

I was finally putting myself first.

THINGS STARTED TO LOOK UP

Saying goodbye to Anahata only brought me relief.

In so many ways.

Over the next year I moved to the countryside, recorded my album, and moved to Peru to be with my love.

Since Anahata, every decision I have taken has nourished me rather than depleted me.

And I started to ask myself why that was.

Why was it that in a certain time in my life, when I was feeling lost, I took decisions that harmed me?

Whereas when I was feeling great and centered, I took decisions that fulfilled me?

I started to look into the formula, and I realised there were some thing that all good decisions had in common.

WHAT I LEARNT

#1: Find your own certainty. Not someone else’s.

Here’s why.

Being lost is uncomfortable. To avoid that discomfort, you will hold on to any direction. Even if it’s not your own.

In your desperation to find certainty, you may end up clinging onto any old unwashed vagabond’s idea to find yourself.

Certainty is a very attractive quality, especially if you are feeling UNcertain.

But certainty that does not come from YOU is where it gets dangerous.

It’s important to remember that I am talking in the context of taking BIG decisions.

(I am not talking about little decisions you have to make).

Let me illustrate with one of my own examples.

Last year I was invited to sing on stage with a friend at Mantrafest Ibiza. I was scared and initially said no. But my friend Anita was so certain that this would be good for me, that I was able to lean on her certainty. It turned out great!

But when it comes to BIG, LIFE-CHANGING decisions, like:

❌investing money

❌moving countries

❌having a baby

❌quitting your 9-5

You HAVE to find that certainty within yourself.

Because otherwise you take a decision and it turns out not the be the right one and YOU are the one who has to face the consequences.

#2: Take big decisions when you’re in a good place.

When I was in a bad place, all the decisions I took were coming from a bad place.

A place of:

❌desperation

❌disconnection

❌neediness

And decisions coming from a bad place lead to bad consequences.

In the Spiritual world people will say “there are no bad decisions.”

Well I believe that’s bullshit 💩💩💩

That line of thinking stops us taking the responsability for our lives and learning and sharing.

If I had had more awareness. If I had recognised the signs, I would have avoided losing hundreds of thousands of euros.

Of course in the end everything turned out OK.

I was able to turn my lemons to lemonade.

But having lived this experience, my advice to anyone taking a life-changing decision if you know you are not in a good place, is:

🥇STOP

🥈BREATHE

🥉ASSESS

Don’t rush the decision from desperation.

When you take a decision from a good place, you will not be running away from your problems.

But running TOWARDS your health, happiness and freedom.

#3 ASK FOR INPUT FROM TRUSTED SOURCES.

This is not to be confused with #1: find your own certainty.

You must absolutely find your own certainty.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for input from trusted sources to help you get there.

While it’s crucial to trust your instincts, neglecting the advice or perspectives of trusted friends, family, or mentors can limit your viewpoint.

Go out and seek diverse opinions and weigh them against your values, like, dislikes and goals.

If you are not sure what your values, likes & goals are then do the work to uncover them before taking a decision.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Let me give you an example.

I love working alone. I hate working with schedules. I love working digitally so I can move around. I value freedom, peace, vitality and creativity.

So…WHY ON EARTH DID I OPEN A CENTRE ?!…

…where I had to manage people, schedules and a physical building that meant I couldn’t travel around?!?! Where the pressure of managing a centre meant I had no room for creative expression and my vitality was at an all time low?!

Now that I know myself it seems so clear…but it wasn’t when I couldn’t see the horizon through the trees.

Let me give you another example.

I love coaching online. I love drinking Ayahuasca. I love holding Singing Circles. I love Peru. I value peace, vitality, creativity.

Considering all of this, it made perfect sense that I should move to Peru this year where I can all of the things I love. And where my energy feel strong and my creativity is through the roof.

Once you are clear on your values, likes, dislikes & strengths than you start to know yourself.

And once you know yourself, you know what is going to bring you energy and what is going to deplete you of energy.

So you can ask for opinions and you know in yourself if that opinion resonates with you or not.

From that knowledge, it is much easier to take a decision that will benefit you.

TO SUMMARISE

Taking a decision can be hard. Especially when you are lacking clarity on WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU WANT and WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD:

Gaining the certainty within you is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

BUT HOW CAN YOU FIND THAT CERTAINTY?

Here are 3 tips I have tried and tested, and that I use with my clients to help gain that certainty.

1) Write your morning pages until the clarity arrives. Every day, 2-3 pages. Normally it takes around 2 pages until the REAL emotions start coming out. This is where you want to get to. It’s like the bile in your kambo cermony. Getting in touch with the bitter emotions is what will help you arrive at clarity. If you don´t have time to write 2-3 pages a day…how much is your clarity really worth to you?!

2) Hire a coach. There’s plenty of support out there. Find someone you resonate with and ask yourself if you vibe with their content. If they are walking the talk. If they are investing in their own professional development with their own coach.

3) Pray. I have learnt not to underestimate the power of prayer. The universe is always there conspiring with us. Remember that 50% of prayer is GIVING THANKS. That keeps us in the energy of abundance and gratitude. So ask for what you want…but don’t forget to give thanks for that you already have.

And a final thing to take into consideration.

🚪🌟 WAIT FOR THE DOORS TO OPEN 🚪🌟

You may have the clarity & be connected in with yourself.

But until the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, you will still be pushing a stone up a mountain.

Otherwise you will be forcing things, and that doesn´t feel good for you OR the universe.

The universe will push back and obstacles will arise in your way.

Let me give you a personal example.

I realised I wanted to move to Peru 2 years ago. BUT I still had Anahata and I hadn’t got the financial structure in place yet to justify the move.

It wouldn’t have worked 2 years ago because I would have been running away from my life.

But this year that the pieces all fell into place:

👍🏼My coaching practise was established

👍🏼I had let go of Anahata

👍🏼I realised I had feelings for my friend who lived in Cusco

These were the moving pieces that finally aligned

THAT is what I mean by waiting for the doors to open.

THAT is what I mean by running TOWARDS something.

And when happens, it will be coming from a place of grounded certainty.

There’ll be no stopping you!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter

Love from Abbey xx

p.s.: if you are looking for certainty and clarity in your life, drop me an email and let´s chat.

pp.ss: I have.a new song out on Spotify called GATHER THE WOMEN.. Listen by clicking the link below,

The post Doing these 3 things means you’ll never make a bad decision again. first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Doing these 3 things means you’ll never make a bad decision again. appeared first on Abbey Sykes.

After 11 years of living in Barcelona, I decided to follow my heart and move to the place I love most in the world.

And what a bloody move it’s been!

Inititally I came for 3 weeks to test out the waters.

(If you haven´t read the backstory about why I was leaving my vibrant life in Barcelona behind, check out my last newsletter here)

Although I came for love, I am staying for much more than that.

I know deep down that this is where I am meant to be.

And even so…there are MANY things that don’t work out here.

For me.

From my life perspective.

M-A-N-Y!

I have gone from having life under control in Europe, to being thrown in at the deep end into customs and traditions that are not my own.

I have gone from having my day-to-day run like a well-oiled machine, to being out of oil and needing to take a quick crash course in Mechanics!

But that’s all part of the journey, right?

In this newsletter I’m going to give you some concrete examples of situations I´ve experienced that don’t make sense to my European mind.

I will also share 3 lessons I’ve learnt that I hope will support you if you ever decide to move to Peru.

MOVING INTO OUR NEW FLAT

My partner, Nilton, and I have been living in our flat together for 4 weeks.

Naturally, when we moved into our flat together, we were excited.

The flat is in Lamay, nestled into the foot of the mountains, surrounded by trees and tranquility.

Stepping out of the flat it like going back in time 300 years – hardly any one in the streets, higgeldy piggeldy mud houses & unpaved streets.

In particular I was delighted to move into a flat that was one tenth of the price I pay for my house in Barcelona.

We agreed with the owner the moving date.

We packed our stuff.

And, being European, I expected everything to go smoothly.

SILLY ME!

Arriving at the flat, I instantly noticed it hadn’t been cleaned.

My excitement dissolved into annoyance and disgust.

The oven was covered in oil splats, the bathroom sinks were caked in toothpaste marks and there were urine stains in the toilets.

But worst of all…THERE WERE DIRTY SHEETS ON THE BED!

It was already evening time and so there was no way we could get a cleaner to come out.

Luckily for us, the owner saw my distress and brought us some fresh sheets.

Still, moving into a dirty flat was one of low lights of my time in Peru so far.

I was really in shock!

I own a flat in Barcelona and rent it out. I would never ever DREAM of renting it to someone without having cleaned it first.

It makes me embarrassed to even think about.

Which is why it was such a shock for me.

Cleanliness is one of my values.

So if a situation arises which goes against that value, I get upset.

But CLEANLINESS is not a value for everyone.

This was an important lesson for me.

#LESSON 1: NEVER ASSUME, ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK.

NO HOT WATER

Since I arrived in Peru the lack of hot water has been following me around like…a broken boiler.

Now I am an Impacter, and at one point in my life cold showers were my bread and butter.

BUT NOT ANYMORE, YOU HEAR ME?!

Cold showers are cool when I choose them. I get to show people what a warrior I am.

But when cold water is forced upon me, it’s a different story.

I move from Warrior mode to grumpy little princess.

Now I´ve been visitng Peru regularly since 2021. And in that time I only remember having a handful of hot showers.

Which is why, when I moved into my first house in Rinconada, there was only tepid water, I didn’t say anything. I just got on with it.

Until the water went from tepid to cold.

And I needed to wash my hair.

When I messaged the landlady, she was very quick to explain how she had never had problems with the hot water in that house. She went on to justify how they had just changed the gas bottle.

You can imagine my delight at the insinuation that I must be mistaken about the water not being hot.

At this point I pulled out the big guns.

I called upon my European assertiveness and invited her to come and test it for herself.

It was fixed the next day.

Great! Cold water solved.

Or so I thought…

Was the universe really going to let me get away that easily?…

Of course not.

When we arrived at our new flat, the water was cold.

When we enquired, we found out that the water was heated by solar panels.

Not ideal, especially when the rainy season is nearly upon us.

Solar panels meant there was only hot water between 1000 and 1400 – which doesn´t work for us early risers.

At this point I didnt need to get all European because my partner stepped in and insisted that we get a heating system that works.

And the result? We got a brand new electric shower.

#LESSON 2: BE ASSERTIVE & ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT

RENTING A CAR

I knew very early on that I would need a car.

The public transport system in the Valley is…interesting to say the least.

The “collectivos” (minibuses) are very regular during the day time. But they stop around 20:30 at night.

I have been stranded in Pisac because of this on more than one occasion.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great that there is regular public transport here. It means people can get around, see their families & go to work.

But there are things I see & experience which make me uncomfortable.

My main concerns with Peruvian public transport are based on the disregard of common rules we have grown up with in Europe

❌Many drivers are on their phones as they drive

❌They drive much faster than the speed limit.

❌There is often standing room only

AND…

❌They will suddenly slow right down to go over a hump in the road.

Which is OK if you have a seat…

…but if you are not lucky enough to get a seat, then you may suddenly be thrown from one side of the bus to the other.

It’s not ideal.

You want to know what else isn’t ideal?

The cost of car rental in the Valley!

In Barcelona I am renting my car out while I’m away for 150€/month.

Here, the minimum price you can find is 600USD/month.

And that’s after negotiating a few days down from 1100USD/month.

You can imagine why I was reticent to hire a car.

I wanted to buy one, but as I don’t yet have my residency or Peruvian driving license, I didn’t want to risk it.

But when the trauma of taking public transport outweighs the trauma of expensive car hire, you get clear on your priorities.

I was all ready to pay the 600USD/month.

We agreed the price.

We arranged when and where to meet.

And then my partner’s friend offered to rent me his car for 375USD/month.

I jumped at the chance and quickly thanked the other guy but told him I wouldn’t be needing his car.

He wasn’t very happy.

So that bridge was burnt.

But, as I told him, I would be mad not to accept the cheaper offer.

Or that’s what I thought.

Until I actually rented the car, that was.

There were a string of events that left me questioning the meaning of the word integrity.

The day we agreed to pick up the car, we had to travel to Urubamba which is around 45 minutes by public transport.

As we were en route to Urubamba we rang Nilton’s friend to confirm the meeting place…and there was no answer.

Nor was there any answer over the next few hours… or any time during the next 2 days.

He just went dead on us.

And this was a supposed friend!

My initial thought was to go back to the original guy offering his car for 600USD.

And then I remembered that option no longer existed.

That bridge had been burnt.

So I resigned myself to having no car.

And as is the way with the universe when you let things go, Nilton’s friend reached out on Monday as if nothing had happened.

And wanted us to go and pick up the car.

If that scenario had played out in Europe, I would have been like “no way hozay”.

But when you are a long way from home, and options are scarce, you take what you can get.

Yuujuu!

Finally I had a car.

So the drama ended there, right?

Of course not.

That was only the beginning.

The next morning I went to the gym, happy as Larry with my new rental car.

I had a great workout, got back in my car to drive home, put the key in the ignition and….the engine wouldn’t start.

I rang the guy to ask if this was a regular occurrence.

He replied “yes, you just need to open the bonnet and move the terminal so it connects.”….as if it was completely normal part of starting the car.

Luckily some kind man at the gym helped me.

And more importantly, the owner of the car came to change the terminal that day.

Fortunately since then the engine has worked fine.

But as we would learn the next day- the engine was the least of our problems!

A bigger issue would be actually getting in the car.

For the last 3 days, the car key doesn’t work.

It enters the keyhole, and turns…but… the door doesn’t open.

You can imagine my frustration just yesterday when I was all ready to go to the gym at 8am.

I’d had my protein powder, I was feeling fired up for a work out, I get to my car and….the door won’t open.

Needless to say, I didn’t get to the gym yesterday.

(But I did have a lot of time to start writing this newsletter!).

For now, we have resorted to not locking the car in case I can’t get back in.

It seems to be the best solution for now.

And lucky we live in very quiet village with hardly anyone around.

And hopefully the desire for it not to be stolen is inspiration for the owner to get a key that works to us, right?

#LESSON 3: WHEN OPTIONS ARE SCARCE, TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET

SO…WHY AM I STAYING?

Despite all of these exciting events happening over the last few weeks, I am not disheartened.

I know what it’s like to build a life again from scratch.

That’s what I did when I moved to Barcelona from the UK in 2013.

You can read about that here.

It was harder back then.

When you don’t know yourself and where you’re headed, it’s easy to be blown around in the wind. It´s easy to accept situations that dont make you happy.

But this time it’s easier.

I have moved to Peru with my own ecosystem of Coaching & Singing Circles that I have been building over the last 4 years.

With the ecosystem integrated within me, it’s been easy to replicate it here.

The best way I can describe it is this:

I feel I have been picked up by the grab-a-teddy machine and dropped into another place where everything still works.

It’s just different a landscape and different people.

But my morning gym sessions, biweekly Singing Circles, Coaching, & Ceremonies are all the same.

There’s even a recording studio where I can record my next songs!

But I can’t deny that there’s an added something special in my life.

I’m in love ❤️

I’m with someone who treats me like a Queen.

Now I understand why God didn’t allow me to settle.

And that’s beautiful.

CONCLUSION

And this brings us to the end of this week’s newsletter.

Even though there are many things that don´t work, I am happy here.

Waking up and seeing the mountains gives me such a sense of inner peace.

Living in a place without distractions enables me to focus on building my business.

And even so, people recognise me here. Every week someone comes up to me saying “you’re the girl that makes those funny videos”.

For me that´s a sign that I’m in the right place!

But the biggest sign is that I feel happy, joyful and at peace.

I hope you enjoyed reading this week’s newsletter.

Love from Abbey xxx

p.s. – listen to my latest release YOUR VOICE here, available now on Spotify & all other major platforms

The post Why I’m staying in Peru – for good! first appeared on Abbey Sykes.

The post Why I’m staying in Peru – for good! appeared first on Abbey Sykes.